OK. I'm not trying to offend. Really, I'm not. But I keep seeing the same thing over and over and I just DON'T GET IT.
Women, all over everywhere, are all, "Wah, wah, wah. I had a c-section." And while if you have been reading along for a year or so now, you'll know that going into labor, I didn't want one. But I had one. And I have never felt the need to be all down about it.
I just really don't get the sentiment. Hence why I don't follow people like unnecessarean and such on twitter, who I sometimes feel have the sole purpose of making you feel guilty about your choice/circumstances/etc.
So you had a c-section. I get that some women feel disappointed that they didn't get the "labor experience", though I would say a shocking amount of women labor and then have c-sections, so all you're missing out on is the pushing and crowning...wow. Bummer. You were really gipped.
NOT.
Hmm...maybe I'm being incredibly insensitive? Maybe after not having had a period in going on close to two years, I have a RAGING case of pent-up PMS? I am definitely irritated about every little stupid thing, so that wouldn't surprise anyone. In which case, ignore me.
I just don't get it.
I'm about 90% sure we're not having another. I feel more certain about this on a weekly basis, and not because A isn't the best thing in the world. More accurately, because she is. I don't need another. BUT...if I flat out knocked a screw loose and had a second child, I would shut down the VBAC option at doctor's visit number one. I have no issues with having a successive c-section.
So please. Enlighten me. Why are so many women so bent out of shape about c-sections?
All I can say is that feeling Jack slide out of me was the best feeling in the entire world. I can't say how I would've felt had I had a c-section, but I don't think it would've been the same. All my hard work and painful pushing paid off! It was so incredible and I'll never forget how it felt. But ultimately, all that matters is that you have a healthy baby! I might have been upset initially, but after seeing Jack and having him in my arms, I don't think I would've really cared how he got here. I don't understand why some people dwell on it. Love your baby. Move on!
ReplyDeleteI had a c-section after pushing unsuccessfully for a couple of hours. I must say that it was pretty traumatic. The way the doctor talked about it at the time made me feel like a failure... like "you need to try to push a lot more OR ELSE we're going to have to do a c-section". My son's head was just too darn big, and there was no way I could have pushed him out. Then I had horrible pain management in the hospital and was sent home in 36 hours. The recovery was hell, and with all the hormones... It took a few weeks to heal physically and a few more to get over it emotionally.
ReplyDeleteWoman-haters. That's who they are. They hide behind 'empowering' women and knock anything that decide isn't natural/the best/whatever. It's unnecessary. We're all just doing the best we can with what we've got.
ReplyDeleteYou successfully created and gave birth to an amazing and beautiful little girl. Congrats to you for that, lady. It's a total miracle.
With all that I know about breastfeeding I was unable to do it for various reasons. Sometimes we aren't going to be able to do what is 'the best' (according to the information that is available in general and not the personal situation for each human being) for our children. Maybe some of the breastfeeding militant moms out there won't be able to pay their child's full tuition to Harvard, and I will. We're all just human beings raising human beings.
I hate reading about women beating themselves up because their bodies 'failed' them. Nonono. Failure is not caring, not trying, etc.
(Some may even say that failure is spreading judgement instead of love about people's choices, but I know that I'm walking a fine line of judging about judging.)
*that THEY decide.
ReplyDeleteI'm just now proof-reading. : /
After 24 hours of labor and only dilating to 6cm, I had to have an emergency C-section. I was fine with it then, only because I knew that Brayden needed to come out. When they got in there, he was lodged against my pubic bone and sunny side up. There was no way he would have come out vaginally.
ReplyDeleteThe hardest part? Was that I was moaning so bad during it because I was so overdone that they had to give me more anesthesia, which made me fall asleep during delivery. I didn't wake up until about 45 minutes after my son was born. It was tough to swallow that, and I hope that next time I will be able to be awake. Other than that, I have no qualms about scheduling it next time.
I'm not sure what the big deal is and why people complain so much... probably because they had an expectation and an ideal of what it would be like b/c of classes and peers, etc. I had a c-section after dilating and not enough progress but I wasn't too upset over it as my Dr had told me I would more than likely end up having one anyway, because my pelvis is small. When things in life don't live up to expectation, there can be a lot of negative feelings!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHm. Well I have to say that I think there is more to it than just being upset about having a c section. I was dilated for 2 weeks with Cameron. I never progressed past a 5 and when they broke my water his cord prolapsed. I hadn't had any pain meds and was rushed into an emergency c section. I was knocked completely out...put under...however you want to say it. He was delivere 17 minutes after they broke my water if that tells you how much of an emergency it was. I never heard my baby's first cry....I never got to see him when he came out all covered in juicy gooey stuff...I didn't get to kiss him before the took him to the nursery to monitore him...I didn't get to watch him get weighed and measured...I didn't get to see my husbands face the first time he saw our child...or watch him hold him for the first time! My MIL touched his face and hands before I got too! I know this might all sound selfish...but those are BIG things! Those are the things I missed out on having a c section. I was sad for a long time. Not because I didnt get to push him out...but becaue I lost out on SOOOO much more! I don't complain...in fact I ended up having a repeat c section with Ethan....but more because my body had never been all the way through labor and we didn't know what would happen. I decided the chance of going through another emergency c section like the one I had with Cameron was not going to happen, so we scheduled it
ReplyDeletesorry...pressed a button. Anyway. I was scared to death to be awake this time! I had no clue what to expect! It turned out well though. It was a great experience comparatively. I got to hear his first cries...I got to have my husband in the OR...I got to see his gooey face, and all his hair...I got to kiss him and I held him from the time they wrapped him up all the way through recovery. It was awesome. I will admit. I didn't wat a c section. I didnt want it because I associated it with so much pain and sadness from my scary prior experience. If I had a first experience like my 2nd experience I think I might have been ok with it a lot sooner. I definitely loathe recovering from a c section...but what can ya do right? At least I have two handsome healthy boys...and we are planning at least one more baby...and it will be another c section, in which I go into knowing it will be another great experience like Ethans.
ReplyDeleteSo I have to say I think everyone's experience is SO different...and probably have a lot more to their hate for c sections than just the simple matter of the fact of not delivering vaginally. At least I do.
Personal preference. Believe me, I'd LOVE if I felt the same way as you. But it's not a choice. I hated my c-section, never want another one. I feel like giving birth (vaginally) is a right of passage. I desperately wanted a natural birth and I didn't get one. Some women don't care. Some women have c-sections and love them. I have the same questions for them as you have for women like me. But you can't tell another person how they should feel about something.
ReplyDelete"..wow. Bummer. You were really gipped." <-- you bet your ass I was.
Thanks for coming to my blog for your apology :) I did read your apology post before this one, actually, and no worries - I've talked to enough women to know there are a good number that feel the way you do. That don't understand what the big deal is... I guess I've gotten used to it. And really, I do wish I felt the way you do! No feelings hurt :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha, I love this post! I had three non-caesareans but I definitely do not feel especially attached to doing it that way! I don't feel especially empowered or proud by how my kids came out - those suckers were getting out one or another, whether I liked it or not! I don't really feel like I had to DO anything noteworthy to get them here. Maybe if I had refused to cooperate with pushing, they would have thrown their hands up in exasperation and given me a c-section, but I had small babies so I'm pretty sure they would've popped out either way.
ReplyDeleteMy sister had all hers by c-section (runs in her mom's side of the family, the women just don't dilate), and she's perfectly fine with it. In fact, she doesn't get why anybody would want to do it the other way around. After seeing how easy they all were for her, I'm kinda wondering why I didn't try at least ONE that way....?
Anyhow, I had all mine with epidurals, so maybe I'm just a cop-out. I DID have one epidural wear off right at 10cm, so I got the full force of it and let me tell you, it's not something I hold near and dear to my heart. In fact, I held off on pushing for over an hour waiting for the anesthesiologist to come fix my epidural, which never happened. I was so pissed.
Anyway, I just wanted to throw that out there - I don't think your rant is b****y at all. Kinda sounds my own rants over people being all "wah, wah, wah, having a kid is hard!" Try four sometime, people! If I can do four without whining, y'all can do one or two! :)