Monday, July 13, 2009

Pregnancy Amnesia?

I'm sure you think I'm referring to the unfortunate absentmindedness that goes hand-in-hand with pregnancy. Looking back, it was actually one of my very first symptoms. However, that's not what I want to talk about today. What I want to talk about today is the unfortunate phenomenon of OTHER women forgetting what it's like to be pregnant and miserable and saying things like, "If I didn't know better, I'd think it was twins!" Oh yes, I've been getting a bit of this lately from women I would expect to, um, I don't know, be a BIT MORE SENSITIVE?

That particular comment came from a relative. I LOVE that particular person with all my heart, but you DO know better, having seen a billion ultrasound pictures, so WHY OH WHY would you say that? Not to mention, this would be a more justified comment had I been needlessly packing on the pounds. But at 3 lbs up, and with the only enlarged feature of my body being my belly, THAT'S JUST NOT NICE. And clearly, given that we're related, you've concluded that naturally she's had some children herself, right? You would think women who have been pregnant EVER may stop and think to themselves, Hmm, I wouldn't have wanted someone to say that to me, but this seems to rarely occur.

Take a friend of mine for example. She decided to tell me this long, drawn-out story about a co-worker whose baby died sporadically when she was eight-and-a-half-months pregnant. I love you dear, but WTF was the point of that story? Remind me to tell it to you when you're just passing the stage where you feel you can breathe a sigh of relief, just to keep you on your toes.

The worst is when other pregnant women or recently pregnant women tell similar stories. "While I was in the hospital, another woman's baby was stillborn." Great. Fantastic. Way to put thoughts into my head (and dreams!).

So, please. I'm not trying to pick on anyone or call anyone out. I just wonder sometimes why women, including strangers at the grocery store, think horror stories or comments about our weight/body/etc are appropriate?! My advice is this: Remember the golden rule. If you wouldn't want someone to say it to you while you're getting increasingly rounder and your ankles are swollen and your body isn't functioning quite the way it's supposed to and your face is breaking out, DON'T SAY IT TO THEM.

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