Dear Critics.

To those who told me that my baby would never sleep through the night if I didn't leave her to cry it out to learn to self-soothe:

SHIZAM!!!!!!!!!

Girlfriend's been sleeping for TWELVE. STRAIGHT. HOURS.

She does self-soothe. She's capable of it because I've managed to raise her in the past fourteen months to be a self-confident toddler, one who knows that if she needs actual soothing, mommy and/or daddy are only a cry away, leaving her feeling secure and worry-free.

Booyah. In. Your. Face.

(Editor's Note: This isn't directed at any of you. The people who were critical of my parenting were mainly those mere acquaintances in real life that can't seem to keep their childless opinions to themselves, and not those who read my blog. But since I'm not a confrontational person, I either gloat here, or not at all ;P

Also, I recognize that CIO works wonders for others. No judgment.)

Laughing in the Face of 13-Months-Ago B...

While I don't regret the way things are with Ava, I will say this: I *will* do some things different if we ever have a second child. Here's just a quick comparison of where we are, as opposed to what my babyless-self had in mind as to where we'd be. Contain your laughter, if you will :)

Sleep:
What I said: "My baby will sleep in her crib from day one!" and, the hilarious gem, "We would *never* even consider co-sleeping."

Ha! Haha! Excuse me a second as I double over laughing.

The reality: That crib we bought from Italian designer Pali (albeit secondhand, thank God!)? Yeah, never been slept in. Currently being used as storage. A is happily, sleepily curled up in our bed, where she sleeps for every nap and every night. And even more surprisingly to current me? This works for us, at least for the time being. I'm not saying I want to round out this, her second, year with her in our bed still, but she's still so little - toddler or not - that it works for us and we're happy.

The other reality: These may be related, but what's done is done and you know where I stand about CIO: Ava doesn't sleep straight through the night. Yeah, yeah, shame on me for not letting her cry, but 13 months in, I still cannot support crying herself to sleep in an act of learned helplessness as the best way to sleep train. I've never met a child who still continued to wake up and nurse through the night their entire lives, so rest assured, this too shall pass.

Breastfeeding:
What I said: "Just make it to 3 months..."

Reality: 12.5 months old, and the only two fluids she has ever received are water and breastmilk (yes, i'm anti-juice, but again, another story for another day).

What I said: "I'll never be one of those women nursing a toddler. If they're old enough to ask for it, they're too old."

Reality: Sometimes I just want to slap B-of-old. I stick to my guns about not being that mother at Kindermusik bra-less and letting her 18 month old nurse at will off and on throughout the class, but we still nurse 4+ times daily, at night and between meals, and both of us are still very happy with the arrangement, even if A says something that sounds suspiciously like "ma mil" (we've always asked her if she wants "mama milk") and signs milk.

TV:
What I said: "I'll never be one of those women whose children watch TV all day."

Reality: This one I've held up on bigtime, because I see so many children set in front of the TV so their parents can go about pretending like they're not parents and engage with their children. That being said, we permit A to watch a half hour of Dora on average twice per week, and I don't feel guilty about it. First and foremost, she's not passively watching, but rather engaged, pointing at Boots, Swiper, Dora, Backpack and being able to do so when asked. She makes the animal noises when animals are on screen, and then walks off to play with one of her toys. She's not in a TV daze. I grew up an only child and therefore watched a TON of TV growing up, since there wasn't anyone except adults for me to play with and - let's face it - adults tire of playing kid games. I'm also college educated with two degrees, would choose a book over TV any day of the week, and am a published writer, so things didn't go too downhill for me, did they?

How are things different for you than you imagined? In what ways did you change your thinking being a parent, and are you glad you did?

Princess Sleepyhead Spoiledface.

The Princess & The Pea.

It may come as no surprise to you that I'm not a very good sleeper. In fact, since A's utter refusal to sleep entirely through the night once she hit 5 1/2 months old, I seriously wonder sometimes if she inherited that from me. Let's hope not.

Food is downright forbidden from our room, because if by chance even the tiniest crumb ends up in our bed, I will seriously toss and turn all night, perturbed by its presence and yet unable to pin down its location and remove it. I'm a very temperamental sleeper as well, requiring the environment to be just right in order to fall asleep. I HAVE to be on my stomach, as you'll remember from my long and miserable nights of pregnancy, I need it to be less than 70 degrees in our house, I don't like anything to be touching me (including my own legs to be touching), and so on. Basically, I'm a nutjob.

A is starting to show some of these tendencies. Whether it's due to her observing me in my sleep or just one of the kooky little inherited tendencies, she prefers to sleep on her belly. She also likes to spread out to where he legs aren't touching, and she throws the covers off all night, despite the 68 degree thermostat. The one place, though, that she differs from me, is that she wants to be touching you at all times.

Co-sleeping has been awesome for us. Yes, sometimes we're smushed and yes, she may wake more often due to the close proximity to her all-night buffet and my fitful sleeping habits, but I love her being close to us, and I love that she feels safe and secure and that she's not left to cry alone. That being said, homegirl is IN. MY. SPACE. While I'll take cuddling to crying any day, I frequently get woken up by a swift hair tug, or, more often lately, a baby that's standing victorious on top of Mommy Mountain, AKA has pulled up on me and is shrieking like she's the queen of the world. Other times, though, I am woken by the soft touch of her hands on my face. How can you not love that? We've started calling her our little koala, since she falls asleep and/or navigates over to you in her sleep and likes to put her arms around your neck and snuggle close. I may be losing sleep, but it's time well spent, don't you think?

Fellow co-sleeping mamas: What little things does your child do in their sleep that you love? Hate?

Why We Don't Cry It Out.

Let me preface this post by saying a firm and sincere no judgment. I'm a firm believer in "to each their own", particularly when it comes to parenting. Who am I to tell you how best to best parent your child in your household with your (and their) unique needs? That type of thinking just doesn't do anyone any good, and is logically unsound.

Despite this, a lot of people (nope, not referencing any of my blog readers, but rather family members, friends, and mere acquaintances for that matter!) see fit to tell me why I should suck it up and move Ava to her bed rather than ours, leaving her to cry it out. Oh, the dreaded CIO. Whether you're for it, against it, considering it or undecided, everyone dreads the process. It's a biological fact that parents, mothers especially, cannot stand to hear their babies cry, so naturally crying it out is upsetting for everyone. However, it is particularly upsetting for me.

Now I'm not trying to call anyone out in this post, but I have particular issue with letting A cry it out, and I feel certain it's due in part to my own anxiety as opposed to hers. While sure, letting my baby cry herself to sleep sounds inherently unpleasant, let me explain a bit further what I mean.

My life has been tumultuous. While I am currently one of the most blessed, fortunate, happiest people I know, life has not always been kind to me. I was born to a teenage mother (though she is, and always has been, fantastic), which I mention here just to note that my father was not in the picture, and that my extended family - mainly my grandparents - played a larger-than-average role in my upbringing when I was very young. I spent a great deal of time living with both my mother and grandmother, and then, when I was five and off to Kindergarten, my mother moved about an hour and a half away to get a life established for us of our own. She sought job stability, a place for us to live, a decent school for me to attend, and all the things that any good mother would desire for her child. I do not blame her for this. Just the same, the best of intentions turned into years apart from my mother, despite her frequent visits, and while I am not trying to implicate her in any emotional scarring, the fear of abandonment runs deep in me. The pain of being away from my mother, even twenty plus years later, has created an almost phobic desire for me to prevent A from ever feeling anything even akin to that pain, and I firmly believe that this comes into play with my inability to support the CIO method in this household.

Yes, I know she won't be in therapy twenty years from now, weeping about the trauma of being left in her crib to fall asleep as an infant. In fact, chances are when she wakes up in the morning, she'll be all smiles, any remnants of trauma long gone. But the idea of leaving her alone in her room, wondering where I am and why I'm not coming for her, feeling abandoned, I just cannot do it.

And so, well-meaning relatives, friends, strangers, and the like, while I appreciate that your intentions are good, I'm not currently accepting unsolicited parenting advice. For now, letting Ava nap and sleep in our bed works for us. In fact, I've fallen into a pretty little routine of accomplishment and productivity during the mornings, followed by computer time to write/blog/online shop/whatever during her naps, and I'm feeling increasingly happy and fulfilled by this schedule.

And with that, happy Monday! I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend, and continues to have an amazing week. Until tomorrow (or maybe later today, one can never be sure with me)...

Playing Catch Up.

I have been both a neglectful blogger and commenter the past week and a half, so I'm working to remedy that today. Sorry!

The girls started school this morning, and seeing as how I'm already working on a reduced schedule and their mom wanted to pick them up on their first day, I'm off and hanging out at home with little A. This morning we went to Kids N' Play - an awesome little inflatable kid land - with my moms group. This is the second time we've been, and Ava loves it! I was worried she was too little for it, but they have all these little gym type things for climbing, and her motor skills are such that she can really play on them. Check it out:



Thankfully she came home and hit the hay, since she hasn't been napping well after having taken a dive off the bed. Here's our makeshift nap situation until I figure out something better and/or get her into her crib for naptime:

I swear we're the only non college students still rocking a futon (in our defense, it's in the upstairs living area - downstairs we have a really nice sectional!!)

Though not ideal, take a look at our other option:


Hahaha - she cracks me up.

I once read a theory about how SIDS may be caused by a build-up of toxic gases in baby mattresses, citing evidence that children who sleep on used mattresses succumb to SIDS more often, so...well, until we get a *new* mattress, having been given one, she'll be napping on the futon. Whatevs.

Not much else to report. While I was sad for about...5 minutes...about the whole going part-time thing, so far, I LIKE. I'm in yoga pants and a bikini top, about to head to the pool with my baybay. Life is good!

Eh :/

First off, sorry for recently bombarding you all with reviews, as opposed to actual posts. I didn't realize I would be so successful in finding people wanting me to review their products, and so they all kind of came at once, and not wanting to get behind or slack off - I'm never one to procrastinate - I wanted to get them done ASAP. Anyhow, I'm back now with somewhat of a real post, and need some input.

I've been feeling a bit down. In case you weren't tuned in after A's birth, I suffered a bit of postpartum depression. And by a bit, I mean four days after her birth you could've found me, any time of day, crying uncontrollably for no reason. I went on Zoloft on New Year's Day, and made a swift and relieving improvement.

I'd been thinking at six months of starting to decrease my dosage and go off the Zoloft, but with the way I've been feeling the past week, I'm a bit nervous. I have nothing to be down about. I'm one of the luckiest, happiest, most fulfilled people I know, particularly since the addition of Ava to our little family. Yet, for a good chunk of this weekend, I felt like doing nothing but holing up in bed with Ava and just shutting the world, including poor D, out.

Part of it, I know, is exhaustion. For whatever reason, I've been so tired. SOOOOO tired. It could be that I've been the only one waking up at night for 6.5 months, or, judging by the severity of the fatigue, it could be more. Right now I'm trying out a few lifestyle changes to see if that helps, otherwise I may stop in at my docto's office to make sure I haven't gone anemic or I don't have some sort of severe vitamin deficiency due to this dairy-free lifestyle I've adopted.

Anyone with any suggestions for holistic ways to get more energy? I know working out should top my list, but between working full-time (August will be particularly busy with the girls not in camp and not starting school until the end of the month), mommying full-time (a blessing, but tiring), writing part-time, keeping up my house, etc. And while I'd love to loosen up with regards to the housekeeping, I'm anal/neurotic/completely psychotic in a way that just won't permit that. I seriously cannot sleep if there are dishes in my sink or clutter on the tables/shelves. I'm a weirdo, I know.

Also, anyone with experiences weaning off anti-depressants after a bout (pretty severe) of PPD? When/how did you go about it?

As usual, thank you ladies for your stellar advice and input!

Anyhow, hopefully nothing worse than fatigue is going on...I'll keep y'all posted. Hope you guys had a great weekend! I'll add some pics later on when I'm back home :)

Fellow Co-Sleepers, Past & Present!

Had you used co-sleeping in a phrase while talking to me pre-baby, I would've (internally) rolled my eyes. Despite my free spirit and laissez-faire way through life, I still was dumb closed-minded to the idea of co-sleeping, writing it off as a hippie, flower-child brand of parenting. I've never been the attachment parenting type, not believing that babies suffer by being allowed to cry and being put down. And then, I had Ava.

The basic principles that babies, to a certain extent, need to learn to deal with a bit of crying and frustration are still things I believe. So tell me why, six-and-a-half-months past birth, Ava has never been left to cry?

This precise question was raised yesterday while on the phone with my grandma* on the drive home. Since I live so far away, I tend to phone a rotation of relatives on a regular basis - my mom, my grandma, and my aunt - so as to not feel left out or have them feel like they're missing out. It works quite well for us. Or it did, until my grandma and I found ourselves at a stand-off with regards to parenting styles.

Don't get me wrong - there are no hard feelings or grudges being carried or any melodramatic nonsense. But it was made quite clear to me that she feels that us allowing (and dare I say enjoying??) Ava in our beds is a big fat no-no. She made it clear that she feels that babies should be in their own rooms by four months at the latest, and that we're doing ourselves and Ava both a disservice by continuing to keep her in our rooms, let alone bed. I do not agree.

While yes, being a parent has opened my heart and mind in ways that blow my mind on a regular basis, and I now embrace co-sleeping, it is out of necessity, not a shifting view in what my ideal parenting approach and/or sleep situation is. Basically, people, we're just trying to get by. If co-sleeping is the best way for us to all get some much needed rest, to keep Ava feeling secure and learning that sleep is a peaceful, enjoyable state (as well as keeping her from ever having a little baby brother or sister - LOL), then so be it. Would I love for her to sleep 12+ hours a night straight in her crib? Uh, duh. Does she? No. So for the time being are we in a place where I get enough sleep to function, and she gets enough to stay healthy, grow and develop on target, in an environment that fosters a secure attachment? Yes, and isn't that what parenting is really all about?

So, fellow co-sleepers, past and present - I ask you this: When the time came for you to move baby to their own crib, how did you ease the transition? At what age did you make the change? Would you recommend doing it at/by a certain point? Is (*gasp*) my grandma onto something?

*If you read grandma and automatically think frail little old lady, generation upon generation apart from me, let me stop you right there. My family is all pretty young - I'm actually the one in the family who was the oldest when I had my first baby! - and there is only a mere 37 years between my grandma and myself. We definitely don't have your typical grandma-granddaughter relationship...

Sharing Sleep.

Well, I did it. I let Ava sleep in our bed last night. And while I didn't get the best night's sleep, as I woke frequently to make sure she was OK, it was actually quite sweet. I laid her in between us, with D under the duvet and us on top of it so that a.) he wouldn't roll over on her since he's a much more sound sleeper, and b.) our duvet is so heavy that it makes ME overheat, so I figured it wasn't right for her either. Despite being smack dab in the middle of us both, though, she has the adorable ability to find her way right next to me, snuggling up next to me every chance she got. At one point, David actually told me he was jealous that she only wanted to sleep next to me. What are the odds he was jealous when I fed her twice? Pretty low.

Anyhow, it went pretty well, all considered! Unfortunately, I'm a really high-maintenance sleeper, as you might recall from my pregnancy. I only like to sleep on my belly, I like to sprawl out as wide as possible and I only like the blanket over me in certain places - I know, I'm a pain - so that was kind of an issue. I'm hoping after a few nights I'll be more able to sleep on my side without waking up.

The only drawback I can see off the bat is that A wanted to eat more than normal, most likely since she spent the night nose to nose with her food. We'll see how this pans out, but I may give it a try again tonight!

Motherhood = Putting Your Foot in Your Mouth.

Hello, friends!

First things first, Ava is not better :( She's not significantly worse, considering her fever has broken at least slightly (though it's climbing again as of a couple hours ago - not even at 100 though thankfully), but her rash is getting worse. We've gone through lots of speculation in the past 24 hours, from Scarlet Fever (since she has strep symptoms and a rash, which are the two hallmarks of Scarlet Fever) to Measles/Roseola (still not sure on that one) to throwing our hands up and saying "AHHHHH!", though quietly as to not upset our sick and sensitive baby, who cries at the drop of a hat.

It's seeming less like Scarlet Fever, since the rash is more pinpoint than merging together and blotchy, but I'm posting a picture (sorry about your behind on the internet, baby girl, but at least the blog is private???) just in case anyone has any ideas. Please feel free to give any input you have - we're at a loss now and the doc wants to wait until Weds to see us again unless things get worse fever-wise or new symptoms appear.

Here's the pic:


On a side note, baby girl isn't sleeping so well. Actually, let me take that back. She's sleeping just fine IN OUR ARMS. The thing about that, though, is that mama needs to sleep, too, and I can't with her in my arms. Last night she did a lot better, but seeing as how we've put her down twice already tonight and both times ended up holding her afterwards to soothe her back to sleep, it looks like another long night is in the works.

Saturday night, in an act of desperation, I took up reading this article. I have been vehemently opposed to co-sleeping for...ever, but I'm starting to be a bit tempted, both by my lack of sleep, and just the text of the article itself (plus, motherhood is always about personal growth, and isn't it time I became a little less blindly judgmental?? I think so too). I'm just very, very concerned about safety. Won't she overheat? Will we squish her? Will she succumb to SIDS? I'm just SO nervous. I'm less nervous about "spoiling" her, since I don't feel like letting her sleep in our bed is setting a precedent that will last a lifetime, though the thought has crossed my mind. Earlier, though, exhausted and desperate for her to get some decent rest to try to help her get well, I nursed her lying down on the couch after she woke up from a 45-minute nap. The next thing I knew, I woke up an hour and a half later, with baby girl sound asleep!

Anyone with co-sleeping experience, good or bad? Concerns? Benefits? Am I entering dangerous territory with regards to ever re-claiming my bed? I've yet to allow it, but I'm oh so tempted, especially with a sick baby. Surprisingly enough, D is totally, 100% for it. What the what?!? That totally caught me off guard, but I'm glad to know he's fine with whatever I choose.

Alright, off to try to rest. Hope everyone is having a lovely week so far!

Please Tell Me..

...that I'm not the only sucker whose baby sleeps in their room still??

I swore I wouldn't do it, but I did. Ava has slept in her super deluxe bassinet next to our bed since day one. I'd love to say it was my first and/or last sucker moment as a mommy so far, but that would be a flat out lie. In my defense, she doesn't ever sleep in our bed, so that's something, right? Right?!?!

Does anyone else still have a teeny-tiny roommate? If you have older kids that once slept in your room, how did you break the habit? Should I expect a big fight?

Baby Steps.

I'm not sure how I forgot to mention it in my THREE posts earlier, but something fantastic happened last night! Ava slept 12-6:30. That's a record around here!

Here's hoping for a repeat performance!

Dear Monday,

I hate you.

Today's not going so well. In fact, I'm pretty certain mommy was in need of a cocktail around 9AM (Kidding, but you know the sentiment!).

First off, that gorgeous day yesterday? Apparently it was an anomaly, with today being in the 30's & 40's, and 2-4 inches of snow expected between tonight and tomorrow night. Excuse me, what?!?! This is Austin, not Boston. Geeeeeeeeez.

Second, Ava has reverted to some old sleeping habits this weekend - just refusing to go to sleep. The funny thing is that she's ready for bed at 8:30, and so I try to put her down, and basically spend three hours continuously putting her pacifier back in. Last night, I think it was after midnight. WTH! I'm so exhausted, and not feeling quite myself, and I'm not feeling any better on no sleep. On top of that, I've had some trouble putting her back down after the 2/3AM feeding here and there, something that never happened before.

THIRD, Ava has been Princess Fussypants the past couple of days. I swear, she's cried more in the past 48 hours than she has the past eight weeks. It makes me very sad, and also more than a little on edge. If it keeps up through tonight and into tomorrow, I'm taking her into her pediatrician since it's just SO unlike her. She doesn't have a fever, but she really seems to not feel herself. One of my ears is bothering me, so I'm starting to wonder if it's that. Also, my mom had two teeth at two months, so I keep checking her mouth just in case it's that - from what I've experienced with teething, it would make complete sense. I just really hope she's not cutting teeth this early...that would pose a breastfeeding catastrophe!

Anyhow, I just needed to vent. I'm sleepy, cold, REALLY MISS SWEETS!!!!!!!!!!, and look like crap because homegirl wouldn't nap for long enough for me to take my hair out of a ponytail, let alone put on makeup and coordinate my clothes.

Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Success!

I am extremely happy to report that in the past week, I've succeeded in moving Ava's bedtime from the wee hours of the morning, to between 9 & 10PM! Tonight was her earliest bedtime to date, with her falling asleep minutes before 9PM! Hooray!

Whereas I'm up feeding her having already gotten 3.5 hours of sleep, before last week I may have still been awake fighting to get her to bed. I am so enormously thankful for this!

Now if only D's snoring could be extinguished so quickly...

Our Little Party Girl.

Little A has adopted the sleep schedule of Courtney Love. Up half the night - usually until 1 or 2AM!! - then sleeping alllll day long. Somedays she won't have awake time until the clocks rolls over into PM territory. Wtf.

Before I get berated for letting this happen, let me assure you that it is NOT for lack of trying. Trying to wake this little one up is futile - I may wake her for a second by irritating the hell out of her, but she goes right back to sleep. And who can blame her?! She's tired from her little party girl schedule! Unfortunately, however, I'm not at a point in my life where I can keep up with that kind of schedule (I'm not a college student for Christ's sake!), and so I've been consulting just about every imaginable source (books, internet, friends, family, strangers at S's gymnastics class...) for suggestions and advice on how to move kiddo's schedule up several hours. I know she's capable of night sleep, since once she's down she wakes only to eat, and usually without even opening her eyes, and she naps like a champ, which I find both encouraging and deeply frustrating.

Most people have confirmed that this type of night owl behavior is quite normal and common amongst babies this young, but I would like to do what I can to encourage healthier sleep habits if possible, and so I've gathered some ideas:

*Since she sleeps so deeply in her car seat during the day, it's been suggested that I put her in there when she's drowsy and I want her to fall asleep for the night, and then transfer her to her bed when she's deeply enough asleep. (If your baby sleeps deeply elsewhere, like a swing or bouncer, sub that item for the car seat. This applies to everything except having him/her fall asleep in your arms.)

*Put baby in their crib/bassinet/wherever you're trying to ultimately put them down for the night, and then help soothe them to sleep while they're laying there. (I DO NOT mean to have them cry-it-out while supervised. Babies before 4-6 months are not capable of self-soothing themselves to sleep.)

Last night I tried the latter with Ava, putting her down in her bassinet at 10PM with a full belly and looking pretty drowsy. She stayed asleep when I laid her down, but predictably woke up within five minutes fussing. I put her pacifier back in her mouth, and she fell back to sleep. A few minutes later, the same thing. This went on until 11:00, with her going longer and longer between the pacifier falling out and/or her fussing, and eventually at 11:15, she no longer woke up when it fell out and slept until she was ready to eat at 2:30.

Was it a long hour and fifteen minutes? Yep. Was it a hell of a lot shorter than holding her until she falls asleep, trying to lay her down and then inevitably picking her back up over and over into the wee hours of the night? Yep! Did we all get more rest of better quality than we ever have? YEP. Is it laying the foundation for better long-term sleep habits? Most definitely. She also then went a dive-hour stretch without eating, and then a four. Yay!

Here's hoping this method will take less and less time as we try it again each night!

Sleep, Sweet Sleep.

Two nights in a row Ava has gone over 4 hours between feedings, giving me a solid 3.5 hours of sleep straight. Even better, D gave her a 6am bottle, letting me sleep from 3AM to 8:15. What what!

Bliss.

Growth Spurt.

First off, my laptop is still down. Wiping it is going to take time and energy I can't seem to find, but I will work on it this week. Then I can start posting pics again. Until then, I'm still blogging on my phone. This does have an advantage, though, seeing as how I can blog while she nurses, since it's mainly like composing a seriously long text, and I am a texting champion!

Anyhow, Ava appears to be going through a growth spurt. How do I know? Let's see - she ate at 9:15, 11:30, 12:30, 2:30 and now 4:30. This makes for one very tired mommy, seeing as how I never get to bed before 1AM because little A is a little night owl. I'm going to be seriously dragging ass tomorrow. Luckily D has a three-day weekend and I can take a nap with a little luck!

The upside to her constant hunger is it's aiding in rebuilding my milk supply, and also, with a little luck, she'll start gaining weight again, since I have been seriously worried about her lack of weight gain in the past almost two weeks. We're having her checked again Tuesday. We're also having my thyroid checked since that's an easy answer to my breastfeeding issues, and has an easy fix.

Ill be posting Ava's newborn pictures either later today or tomorrow, since I was able to get them on D's computer for the time being - they turned out great! Stay tuned!

Good News, Bad News.

The good news: Today I got to take a 2.5 hour nap in between nursing/pumping sessions. Praise God! I feel better already!

The bad news: During my nap I had a dream that there was a teeny tiny golden retriever that was completely dependent on me to provide milk for it. In order to do so, I had to pump every hour on the hour until I got at least an ounce, which these days is taking forever! Clearly the nursing and pumping schedule my lactation consultant 'prescribed' for us is starting to get to me.

I guess the additional good news is that in the end, I saved the puppy. Please let this be a sign my milk will become abundant again!

So Much For That Idea!

I did NOT get the aforementioned 5-6 hour stretch of sleep. Damn it.

When I woke up to feed A around 3:15, D announced he had a terrible stomachache from the massive load of meat just sitting in his stomach, something I saw coming as soon as he pulled out the sandwich he had picked up from Jason's Deli for dinner (we're - and by that I mean I'm - still not cooking around here). He was still feeling bad when I wrapped up feeding her, so I stayed awake while she cooed and grunted through her sleep to make sure she actually went back to sleep, making for a long stretch of awake time. Hello, 4-something AM!

I fell back asleep though feeling only slightly resentful, knowing I would be able to sleep through to the 9-9:30ish feeding! Hallelujah! NOT. I was awoken at 6:15am, with D saying the bottle warmer was not working and heating her bottle. I was trying to explain how to a.) either use an alternate method, like submerging it in hot water, or b.)troubleshoot what was going wrong with the bottlewarmer when I realized two things: 1. I come across as quite condescending rather than helpfully informative when sleep-deprived, and 2. It would be easier at this point to just feed her myself, especially given I was already awake. Such is life.

I think ill try to give him a thorough lesson on bottles and the bottle warmer today during the day. Nobody can expect to go it alone in the middle of the night, I suppose :)

Oh Sleep, How I Miss Thee...

In her defense, Ava is a champion sleeper. With the exception of when we initially put her down for the night. She just won't go to sleep.

Part of it is that she sleeps a lot during the day - so we've been trying our best to wake her up during the day. It's nearly impossible, but we've come up with some creative strategies at this point.

I thought perhaps our room is too quiet, since she sleeps like a baby out in the living room all day, so we tried her noise machine and her seahorse glowworm, but no dice. It may work for a bit, but she won't stay asleep.

We've now adjusted several different variables, but still, it can take hours before she'll go to sleep at night. And so I ask this: What is your bedtime routine like and does it work for you? I'm desperately needing suggestions. I try to make sure she consistently gets full feedings rather than 'snacks' so that she needs to eat less often and will sleep for longer periods, but still, nothing. And then once she gets to sleep, she'll generally only wake to nurse and then go back to sleep, which at least is something, right?

All advice and input appreciated!