I've been slacking lately with regards to this blog for many reasons. Mainly, nothing new is really going on. It seems we've reached that latent period where all you do now is get fatter and wait - both things I'm not terribly happy about or comfortable with, but I digress. Also, I've been ridiculously tired. I attribute a great deal of this fatigue to the 3 & 4 mile walks I've been going on daily, but also to the fact that I'm pretty dang pregnant now. Just 6.5 weeks and I'll be...unpregnant? Normal? What's the acceptable term for a non-pregnant woman? Jovial and beside herself with relief?
Anyhow, I did want to pose a question out there to some of my readers who either have had babies, or are getting ready to (quite like myself). What did you do with regards to family visiting around the time of baby's birth? It seems like everyone and their cousin's puppy think they should be able to attend the actual birth (over my dead body), and bring people along with them. While I've been quite good at heading off this conflict by saying flat out that no one other than D will be allowed within fifty yards of me from the second phase of active labor until after I've finished nursing Baby B for the first time, I'm wondering how others are handling visitors after the baby arrives and when they're first home from the hospital. I've gotten mixed input in other venues about how this has been. On the one hand, some couples prefer to be alone with the baby to have some new family bonding time, while others prefer to have their family with them for a variety of reasons. This would be a pretty simple decision IF I were able to call up my family and have them just drive up, or have them drive home if we found we preferred the former, but since advance plane tickets and all the jazz are required, it's time to make the who comes when for how long decisions, and I'm feeling like I could use a little guidance. One of my major concerns is if I end up with an emergency cesarean, or have a traumatic birth or difficult labor, and I need help for longer than I think or at different times. I also want to make sure that since I will only have two to three short weeks off, that I get alone time with the baby before going back to work. I also mainly need household help, since babies are second nature to me (though I do know it'll be different when I'm dealing with a newborn AND recovering from labor and pregnancy). Input?
Thank you as always :)
In the case of Marianne, her birth didn't go as anticipated, and I wasn't prepared at all for the aftermath of it. Orginally I told everyone to stay away, then relented afterwards and let my brother and parents visit for an hour or two. There was no one else there during labor or at her birth but her Daddy.
ReplyDeleteHowever, that first week I was bound and determined to have no one there...as I said, it didn't work out that way. I wound up with severe PPD, and I was sick from the liver issues besides. So I wound up leaning on a lot of family and friends because there was a time after she was born I was terrified I'd act on some of my crazier impulses, so I insisted someone be in the house with me and her to prevent it.
I have never been so terrified in all my life as when I had the PPD the worst. Most of my terror revolved around the fact I KNEW I wasn't in my right mind, but I couldn't seem to stop the violent thinking, and as we all know...violent thinking and me don't usually revolve around cute babies. It usually involves co-workers, but I digress.
All I can say is be flexible about potential for plan changes. :)
And if you don't want anyone else there at the birth, then by all means stick to your guns. I would have been in jail for murder if my mom had been at Marianne's birth.
*hugs*
Luck on the birth and hopes for the next month or so to fly by for you... (it did for me!) :)
Also...
ReplyDeleteI will post a tidbit and say, having Grandma H there when Marianne was 3 weeks old was a GODSEND.
I got a whole week of not having to get up with her, and that helped refresh me more than you know...take advantage of doting grandmas and such who are willing to put up with the initial newborn nightly stuff as long as possible.
SLEEP IS YOUR FRIEND, and you won't get much until she adjusts some.