Happy Marriage Equality Day, Three + Months Belated!

This summer, as you surely know, was monumental in the fight for marriage equality in the United States of America. This is something that has been near and dear to my heart - and not just my heart, but my children's as well. From her very beginnings, Ava has been raised to honor every individual person she meets for who they are inside, and not judge them by their differences or their preferences, including their sexuality. She has two godfathers, for crying out loud! 

One of the things that has always mattered to me as a parent has been to pass on a legacy of tolerance, and love, and kindness. More than anything, I want my children to take from me that the inherent value of a person has nothing to do with their appearance, or their financial situation, or who they love, and everything to do with who they are inside, and how they treat people. It is also important to me that she become someone who is socially and civilly responsible, and an active participant in their world. More than what she grows up to believe, I want her to know that her voice can, and should, be heard, and that she should fight for what is right, and what matters. For us, one of those things that matter has always been that the people we love can love, legally, whomever they want. So on June 26th, 2015, when the Supreme Court ruled that marriage was a civil right, and that regardless of sexual orientation, should be extended to every single citizen of age, well, what's a socially conscious mother to do but load her children up in the car, drive down to the Travis County Clerk, and celebrate lavishly with the first recipients of same-sex marriage licenses in our state?

So that's precisely what we did.

That joyful expression just about sums it up. 

The County Clerk was SWARMED with News crews. In fact, I spoke to KVUE out in the hallway during the press conference with the County Commissioner, after they asked me why we were there that day. In short, I told them, I wanted my children to really see and feel the momentous joy that families, who had been waiting and waiting for this moment, were feeling as they got their marriage licenses and married. I just didn't feel I could do the enormity of what was happening justice from our living room. 

In this room, the first ten couples in Travis County to apply for a same-sex marriage license waited for the official green light to be ushered into the County Clerk. Some had waited DECADES.

We felt your joy. Congratulations!

We also got to talk to the ACLU of Texas, and Ava and I walked out with shiny new ACLU Texas t-shirts. Ava insisted on putting hers on and flying her flag the entire drive home. I'm so damn proud, y'all. 

What We Stand For.

On this historic day, one with the potential to literally change the world, I had a chat with my daughter about equality, marriage, and, ultimately, love. If you know me in real life, you'll know my SUV is equipped with the Equal Rights sticker. In fact, you don't have to know me in real life to know what I stand for. I am an advocate for equal rights in all forms, and a tried and true friend to the gays. Just ask Oil Cans and Rain, circa 2006 ;) 

Yesterday, a mere 24 hours prior to the Supreme Court convening to decide on the constitutionality of California's heinous Prop 8, we were putting groceries into the back of my car when Ava found herself face to face with our bumper sticker. 

"Mommy, what's that mean?" her curious mind wanted to know.

Now there are times when I am in a hurry. When I'm rushing to get from one place to the next to the next all before school pick-up and it's all I can do to focus on the task at hand. This, though, was not the time to be succinct. Sensing genuine interest from my child, and knowing her love for her many gay uncles, I stopped what I was doing, and explained to her what we stand for at our house, and what I hope she grows to stand for also.

"Well, honey, that's an equal sign. In this case, we have it on our car so that people around us know that we believe that everyone should have equal rights."

Genius child that she is, she followed up with, "What rights mean?"

I had to pause at that question. I clearly understand what rights are, but isn't that what this entire discussion is really all about? Rights, constitutionally, belong to everyone. Rights are unable to be taken away by a change in the law. Rights designate that you have an irrevocable ability to seek certain opportunities. Seeing as how I'm not sufficiently putting the importance of this concept into words, let me borrow a definition from Wikipedia:

"Rights are legal, social, or ethical principles of freedom or entitlement; that is, rights are the fundamental normative rules about what is allowed of people or owed to people, according to some legal system, social convention, or ethical theory.^[1] Rights are of essential importance in such disciplines as law and ethics, especially theories of justice and deontology."

Explaining that to a three-year-old isn't the easiest of jobs, so I tried to simplify it by example as much as possible.

"Rights mean that everyone, no matter their age, or the color of their skin, or who they love, is allowed to do the same thing. Right now, we're trying to show people that we think that it is ok for two people, no matter if they are both boys, or both girls, to get married. Do you think Uncle B should be able to get married?"

A most enthusiastic yes.

"Do you care if Uncle B marries a boy or a girl?"

Again, an enthusiastic no.

Well, I rest my case.

I know that the arguments are obviously more complex than all of that, but really, doesn't it boil down to love? Why do YOU care who someone else loves? How does the introduction of same-sex marriage affect you? It doesn't threaten my marriage. It doesn't weaken our vows. If anything, it adds merit to them and places us all on equal ground, creating a community that celebrates love and marriage in any form. 

No matter what side of the fence you stand on biblically, if you set your religious beliefs aside, per the separation of church and state, what honest reason can you give for the prohibition of same-sex marriage?