Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Did I Do the Right Thing?

This morning started out great. I had the best night's sleep I've had in a long, LONG time, and woke up feeling refreshed. I LOVE that feeling, and don't see it enough. A was also in a good mood, happy and ready to play and be silly, and our good moods just played on one another, until we finally couldn't contain our sunshine in the house anymore, and decided to hit the neighborhood streets for a nice walk. That's when things went South...

I'm ashamed to say I don't know my neighbors all that well. I was one of the first people to move in when the houses were built, and was the young, single girl to everyone's family status. That being said, I take Ava for walks on a semi-regular basis, and know or at least recognize some families in the area, trying to be friendly and saying hi when they're outside.

This morning, I passed by one such house, where an elderly gentleman and his wife live. As I waved and said good morning, I wondered briefly why he didn't respond, thinking that I really should get outside more and interact with these people. Then he fell.

The man, who I'd guess was about 65, fell face first down into the grass, where he'd been watering the flowers and tree in the front yard. His eyes were open, but he wasn't speaking or moving. His screen door was open, so I ran frantically over to him, checking for a pulse, and then ran to the screen door, praying his wife would be there. She wasn't. When I ran back over to him to check his breathing and dial 911, his eyes were closed (and I was convinced for a second he had died), but then he had started to make the smallest of movements, regaining consciousness. I put the phone down (I hadn't completed dialing yet) and went over to him, trying to help brace him and get him on his feet, and saw his arm was bleeding. I asked him if I could call anyone - his wife, a doctor, EMS - or help him bandage his arm, but it seemed clear he wasn't able to speak, with him only able to mumble initially. I also noticed his right arm was bleeding from the fall, and saw he was unable to move it. I'm not a doctor, but I was 99% certain he had suffered a stroke.

I also know that stroke victims can be both disoriented and aggressive, not to mention embarrassed, when they come to, and so when he shrugged me off and was finally able to get the words out that he was fine, I couldn't believe him. There was no conviction in his voice, and he seemed completely confused to why his arm was bleeding and what I was doing standing in front of him. So when he shooed me away - not literally, but he definitely wanted to go inside and be alone - I called 911.

I've been questioning myself ever since. I don't regret doing so, and the paramedics said I was right to call, but did I hurt more than I helped? Is he without insurance, and now going to be stuck with a huge bill for EMS services? Should I offer to pay it?

I'm really conflicted. But in the end, I felt so certain that he had a stroke, and the fact that it happened while I was standing directly in front of his house while attempting to say good morning to him just seemed like, for lack of a better word, fate. And my judgment - the judgment that could not live with allowing an elderly stroke victim go back into his house, bleeding and alone - superseded his in this case, in my opinion. If he did have a stroke, and there was damage, I know that there is a brief window to reverse it, and would never forgive myself if I stood by and allowed anything to happen to him.

What do you think? Did I do the right thing?

17 comments:

  1. 100% YES YES YES you did the right thing!!! and so much more than many other may have. Do NOT beat yourself up over this decision. It was absolutely the right thing to do.

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  2. Oh honey, you did the right thing, absolutely!

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  3. You absolutely did the right thing - don't worry about the finances or second guess yourself. At this point he does not know what's best for him and you could be saving him from something worse. Bravo to you for stepping in.

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  4. I think you did the right thing... and just to cement that - for it to be the right thing for YOU - it needs to be knowing that you would make the same decision if faced with the situation again, having all the info you now have (which probably really isn't much more than you had previously, but still.) I would have done the same... glad you took a chance, and I'll keep my fingers crossed and say a few prayers that he's going to be just fine - and that he has the finances/insurance to take care of the situation. *HUGS*

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  5. Thank you all so much! I have been worried about it ever since. I hate that we live in a world where you can't even call 911 for someone without having to consider insurance and finances :/

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  6. YES YES YES!! You did absolutely the right thing! Try not to worry about the financial aspect. He clearly was in need of help and was not going to admit it or ask for it. Insurance or not...you quite possibly could have saved his life....he could have gone inside and something else could have happened. Good call Momma!

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  7. No question, you DEFINITELY did the right thing! One note re: EMS. Did they take him to the hospital? If not, there's no charge for them to come check on him. If so, there's a fee for the ambulance ride. But, even so, when he finds out he had a stroke, I'm sure he'll be thankful you made the decision you did!

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  8. Echoing all your other commenters--of course you did the right thing. I'm glad you were there for him.

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  9. YES!!!! You did the right thing. How scary that must have been. I have chill bumps just from reading and wondering if I would have done the right thing. You did so well under pressure and you need to know without a shadow of a doubt YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!!

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  10. Absolutely. I would have done the same thing!

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  11. Of course. More people should know that there's no charge for an ambulance to come out. That there is only a charge if they transport you (even if they come out you can request to have a family member/friend drive you to the hospital). What if the man had died? I think you would have felt much worse. What would you rather have on your conscience? I think this.

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  12. You definitely did the right thing. I'm sure his pride was hurt a little, but that's small in comparison to what could have happened had you not been there. Maybe drop by and check in on him in the next day or 2, and bring him a meal? Good luck.

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  13. Don't worry about the finances, that can always be figured out. What can't be figured out after the fact is his health. If he did indeed have a stroke and then went inside who knows what would have happened. I know a man who's life was saved by someone stepping in and helping when he collapsed in his front yard.

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  14. If the paramedics said you did the right thing, then I wouldn't worry. If the man holds it against you for being concerned about his health, he's not much of a human being. When my Dad had an ICA, he wasn't able to move or speak. Had my brother not been home at the time he would probably not be here now.

    Don't worry, and congrats to you for being willing to step in and help. Many people would not have for fear of being caught up in court or something.

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  15. Like everyone else has said, you did the right thing. For crying out loud you thought he might be dead!! If you are still uncertain, after all of us have said you made the right decision, go over and talk with him. Get to know him and take this time to open those lines of communication.

    Also, you are teaching your daughter to be compassionate, empathetic, and brave!! Good for you!

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  16. I believe you did the exact right thing. :) Be self-assured you need to have no regrets concerning this situation. You may have very well saved a life. Rest soundly, you Angel, you. ;-)

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  17. You definitely did the right thing! How scary.

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