Potentially Going to Dig Myself Into a Hole Here...

OK. I'm not trying to offend. Really, I'm not. But I keep seeing the same thing over and over and I just DON'T GET IT.

Women, all over everywhere, are all, "Wah, wah, wah. I had a c-section." And while if you have been reading along for a year or so now, you'll know that going into labor, I didn't want one. But I had one. And I have never felt the need to be all down about it.

I just really don't get the sentiment. Hence why I don't follow people like unnecessarean and such on twitter, who I sometimes feel have the sole purpose of making you feel guilty about your choice/circumstances/etc.

So you had a c-section. I get that some women feel disappointed that they didn't get the "labor experience", though I would say a shocking amount of women labor and then have c-sections, so all you're missing out on is the pushing and crowning...wow. Bummer. You were really gipped.

NOT.

Hmm...maybe I'm being incredibly insensitive? Maybe after not having had a period in going on close to two years, I have a RAGING case of pent-up PMS? I am definitely irritated about every little stupid thing, so that wouldn't surprise anyone. In which case, ignore me.

I just don't get it.

I'm about 90% sure we're not having another. I feel more certain about this on a weekly basis, and not because A isn't the best thing in the world. More accurately, because she is. I don't need another. BUT...if I flat out knocked a screw loose and had a second child, I would shut down the VBAC option at doctor's visit number one. I have no issues with having a successive c-section.

So please. Enlighten me. Why are so many women so bent out of shape about c-sections?

Question For C-Section Mommies.

Can't you tell today is the day I catch up on posts I've been meaning to write for some time?!

Anyhow, I have a question for my fellow section mommies, whether it took place two months ago or five years ago: Did you/have you regained feeling over your incision?

I ask because I have not. If I run my hand over my incision, particularly on the right side, my hand can feel it, but my abdomen cannot. It is the strangest thing. When I asked my doc about it at my six-week check-up, he said that it was due to them 'slicing blindly (!!!!) through nerves'. While sometimes they fuse back together perfectly, sometimes, apparently, they do not. While this poses no health risk and is the least serious and most common side effect of the surgery, it drives me insane. You would think that not having feeling would be the kind of thing that, by it's very nature, you wouldn't notice, but you'd be wrong. If I lean over something that hits my incision (reaching over the kitchen counter up to a drawer, for instance), even just when I slip my jeans on, it's noticeable.

There's still a chance the nerves will rebuild, but I'm not holding my breath at 10 weeks out :(

Anyone experiencing the same thing? Anyone not have feeling at two-three months but regain it later?

Belly Bandit Review.

I've been meaning to write about this forever, especially for any of you readers still waiting to deliver, or for many of us who will want a second baby.

I picked up a Belly Bandit at local boutique Due Maternity around 37 weeks, in order to help with my postpartum belly. Missed that post? Click here for a full wrap-up of what the Belly Bandit is supposed to do. Anyhow, I decided to go with a size M, having gone into the store to try it on with my enormous nine-month belly. Plus, the sales associate said that it was fully returnable as long as it hadn't been worn yet, so I figured that if the medium was too big, I could always go exchange it for a small.

As you all know, I ended up having a c-section. I had heard that the Belly Bandit was especially helpful with c-sections, providing exceptional abdominal support during your recovery, and this was 100% true. I put it on for the first time as we left the hospital, two days postpartum, not wanting to have to continuously remove it for the hospital staff to check my incision. I was admittedly nervous that it would be painful over my incision, but it wasn't. In fact, it was so comfortable and provided such amazing support, I wore it both night and day, taking it off only to shower. The medium was the perfect fit initially, fastening snugly around my post-baby belly, but within six days, I had sent D out to go pick up a size small. No way would that thing have fit initially, but that's how quickly it reduced post-pregnancy bloating and swelling. I can imagine this would be even more accurate with a natural delivery, since I'm certain the sutures in my uterus were causing even more swelling than was normal. I sure felt that way, at least!

Anyhow, starting about a week postpartum, I had moved into the small, and already felt amazing about how well it was working. I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans at 10 days postpartum (!!!!) and I completely attribute that to the Belly Bandit. It certainly wasn't for lack of eating, at least not once I got through the initial few days recovery! I continued to wear it for the six weeks it recommended, though sometime right before week four it started to fit less comfortably, as my waist shrunk and was no longer even with my hips and rib cage's width (if that makes sense?) It just didn't seem to handle the curve/contour of my smaller waist as well. It still worked wonders, however, and when I finally retired it around six weeks, I felt confident enough with my flat belly to wear my normal tight shirts and sweaters without feeling like I had a major post-baby bulge. I would 100% recommend this product to ANYONE! Definitely plan on buying two sizes though to accommodate your shrinking belly! Trust me, you won't mind buying a second one when you see the progress!

Control Yourself!

It's come to my attention that it is time for me to choose a post-baby form of birth control. Ugh. I've been dreading this since last spring (though clearly apathy is NOT the right choice here!).

My options are pretty limited while I'm breastfeeding. They consist of:

*The Mini-Pill
*The Shot
*Condoms
*An IUD

(Notice that breastfeeding [Lactational Amenorrhea Method] is absent from this list. That is because I have found many mixed opinions on the effectiveness of this method. While breastfeeding is supposedly 99% effective as long as you're exclusively breastfeeding, your baby is under six months of age and your period has not returned, I just don't feel it's real-world failure rate is that low, and will NOT be placing the possibility of another little Baby B in the hands of a faulty method!)

*The Mini-Pill (AKA the progesterone-only pill):
If you've had excellent luck with combination birth control pills, and can remember to take it at the EXACT same time every day, this is a great choice. I, however, got pregnant with little miss Ava on Yaz, and so a pill that is both less effective and more sensitive to any fluctuation in when you take it is not a great option for me. Dr. R even pointed this fact out at my 6-week appointment. Thanks, buddy.

*The Shot (AKA Depo-Provera):
Highly effective shot administered every three months. Sounds great, right? Nothing to remember everyday, nothing to worry about, etc. The cons, though, bum me out. Not only is it the form of birth control most highly associated with weight gain, it also requires doctors visits and shots (ick!) every three months, and can cause some pretty intense moodiness (I'm not sure how I feel about three months worth of hormones floating around in my system!) That being said, it works great with no side effects for a lot of ladies. I'm just not sure I want to be one of them!

*Condoms. Enough said.

*An IUD. This seems to be my best option, but I'm still quite skeptical. For anyone who doesn't know, an IUD is a little device inserted into your uterus to live until you're ready for a(nother) baby. It can be left there for 5-10 years, and requires no maintenance whatsoever. When you're ready, you just go in and have it taken out (both insertion and removal require an office visit), and voila! You can get pregnant again right away. I'm sure the many benefits are obvious: ease of use, long-lasting, immediate fertility upon removal, etc. What I'm interested in hearing firsthand is actual user experiences. Do you love yours? Hate it? Any side effects you wish you had known about beforehand? How was the insertion/removal? My doctor did warn me that while the insertion can be slightly painful generally, that it may be worse for me (and anyone else who has had a c-section) since my body has technically never had a baby. Interesting...

Anyhow, I'd love to hear any and all IUD experiences, both good and bad! If you don't feel comfortable sharing in a comment, feel free to email me at unexpectedlyexpectingbaby@gmail.com. Thanks, ladies!

Couch to 5K.

This is exactly what I need/have been looking for to help me break into running. This loks totally feasible and healthy, not to mention with it only being 30 minutes, 3 times per week, I'm sure I can find that kind of time without being away from A too often. I've still yet to be away from her AT ALL. Yep, I'm serious.

Anyhow, here's where you can find more info on the program: Couch to 5K, Cool Running

Click here for a list of runs going on in Texas and surrounding areas (Broad, I know!). I'm thinking of signing up for the ASH Bunny Run on 4/3 for an untimed trial and practice, and then the Schlotzky's Bun Run for my first timed 5K on 5/2 :)

Happy running, ladies!

Seconds?

Earlier today, at my six-week check up, my doctor brought up the issue of birth control. That I was prepared for. What I was not prepared for, however, was the question he raised while helping me to explore my options: Do you think you'll want another baby in the next five years?

Let's rewind, say...two months. Had he asked then (not that he had to - I was telling everyone I met that this was going to be my first, and only, baby), the answer would've been absolutely not. No way, no how. Not. Happening.

Now flash forward back to the present. Faced with the question just ten short hours ago, I said the first thing that came to my mind. I said yes.

Wait, what? I'm sure half of you are shocked, and the other half are smirking to yourself and saying, 'I knew it.". To be honest, I've been giving this some thought lately. Not that it would be happening anytime soon. I'd like to be married before Ava has a sibling, ya know? But where I would never have considered it previously, I am now...open to the idea. You see, I was an only child for the first 16 years of my life, and it was terribly lonely. And I love A way too much to see her lonely.

My only reservation now is how I could ever love another the way I love Ava, but I know all parents think that, and all parents manage to find room in their hearts.

Just Another Manic Monday.

This morning was my six-week postpartum visit (Happy 6 weeks, A!). It also happened to be the morning of the worst downpour I have ever driven in, and also the latest I have ever slept through my alarm. Oops!

The doctor's visit went well. I am cleared to begin training for whichever run I end up participating in this spring. While I'm anxious to get my abs back, I'm not so psyched about actually having to put forth the effort, but I digress. In other good news, I've lost all my baby weight. At this rate, ill breastfeed forever! I suddenly understand the skinny women with a two-year-old attached to their breast ;)

Now that we've knocked that appointment out of the way, it's off to Barnes & Noble and the post office to send my littlest sister's birthday gift (only two weeks late :/), and then time to go to work! Four and a half weeks until Spring Break!

Baby's First Christmas & Other News.

Happy New Year, everyone! Sorry for the hiatus...something about having a baby and all that jazz...



Lots to report. First off, Ava's first outing was Friday, when we took her up to the hospital for a weight and jaundice check. She's back up at 7lbs, 9oz, having regained 5 ozs. since leaving the hospital and being a measly 3 from her birthweight...we rock! Also, her billirubin levels were borderline, but since she's eating and pooing like a champion, they felt comfortable leaving it alone and having her pediatrician check it at our first appointment tomorrow. Whew.

After that, we returned home just in time for her first grandparent visit, with D's dad, Grandpa Don, coming into town for Friday and Saturday. We then went to lunch and hit up Babies R Us for a few things we found we could use (lanolin cream, burp cloths & another swaddling blanket, to be exact) and then headed home, where mommy promptly passed out. We also stopped by the pharmacy to pick up the prescription my doctor called in a couple weeks back. Postpartum depression has hit full force, though after just a few days on the meds it's starting to lighten up a bit. More on that another time. Right now I'm trying to enjoy my daughter. All I can say is that if you think you might be showing signs of it, CALL YOUR DOCTOR. There is no shame in seeking treatment for this potentially very serious condition. If you don't want to call your doctor, email me. Sometimes it's just nice to know others have been there too. Trust me - trying to explain sadness in such a time of joy is difficult. Luckily, D is fantastic, and was prepared for this. My physical recovery is going slowly, though I am completely off my painkillers. I think they were contributing to my depression, so I've decided to go without. It's a tough decision some hours of the day, but I'm trying to control it with ibuprofen and the hope that this too shall pass.



Our next first was Baby's first (belated) Christmas! Though we'll celebrate baby's first Christmas next year, this year Santa came by the house in anticipation of her arrival, so she had some great presents to open :) It was awesome! She got the Madeline book set, the Eloise book set, a snuggly seahorse glowworm, a play telephone and a doll. Ava was a very good girl this year :)





And on a fantastically positive note, I've lost 18 lbs!!!!!!!!! Yep...you read that right. 18 POUNDS! 8 of them in the past 48 hours after getting up and walking got that fluid circulating and eliminating. Sweeeeeeeeet! I feel hopeful.

Last Sunday:


Today:


Ok, off to nurse soon. Last night she slept from midnight to 8am, waking only at 4am to nurse, and has stuck to a four-hour schedule nearly like clockwork since. I wish I was delusional enough to think this would last forever!!!

Ava's First Few Days.

So much to tell!

*Ava has been a fantastic nurser since birth. Things got a bit irritated on Tuesday, but picked up again that night and have been going strong again ever since. She likes to go a good four hours between feedings, so that's been a fantastic reprieve for my very sore girls. I'm starting to feel like my milk may be on it's way in, which is both exciting (because at that point she'll start gaining weight again and, also worth mentioning, I'll have a fantastic rack) and terrifying (engorgement = major pain initially). So far, though, so good.



*Maybe one of the most surprising things about parenthood so far is the fact that I really like breastfeeding. I mean, yeah, it's painful and all, but I love feeling that connection with her. Knowing that my body is fully capable of feeding my beautiful daughter makes up for the fact that it gave a disappointing labor performance.



*D is an amazing father, completely head over heels for his little girl. He snuggles her and kisses her and has gone from never holding a baby or changing a diaper to being a total pro! Part of that I'm sure is that he has had to do it all while I was confined to my bed initially, but I attribute it more to his inherent dad skills coming out. Either way, I've never loved him more.



*As far as sleep goes, it's few and far between. Ava is a fantastic sleeper and nurser, so what exactly is keeping me up? Pain from my c-section is the biggest culprit, combined with the new mom dear that something might happen to Ava while I'm sleeping. The first night, I slept about 45 minutes. Last night - maybe slightly under 3 hours? I think we're at a whopping total of 12 hours since Sunday morning. Ouch.



*While I was expecting the recovery to be long and painful, I am indeed surprised by how many different places it is painful. I feel like I have been in a major car accident. Part of this I'm sure was the insane shaking that I did due to shock and anesthesia, and also from relying solely on my arms to pull me up and help me move around, but wow. It's been hard.



*Ava is a really, really calm and content baby. I'm talking the kind of tranquility I still couldn't reach, even post-morphine. She's just the most pleasant person in the entire world.



*Just now am I finally starting to lose some of the swell from everything they had to give me pre- and post-op. My tummy immediately went WAY down, but my legs and calves and feet looked positively huge! I went from looking 9 (10) months pregnant to just having a really fat ass and thunderthighs, much to my chagrin. Luckily, I'm peeing it out now that I'm up and out of bed. Whew. Also, I can happily report that I have zero stretch marks. Thanks, little A :) You're the bestest!

Ok, barely keeping eyes open. More later.

She's Here!

Ava Elizabeth arrived 12/28/09 at 12:27PM via c-section (see explanation of complications in previous posts). She was 7lbs, 12ozs and 19inches long! She is absolutely gorgeous and we couldn't be more in love.



It's true what they say. No matter how you felt about your pregnancy, or how your labor went (in my case awful and excruciating), the second they slip that baby into your arms, you'd do it all again in a heartbeat. I simply adore her.





The c-section went as well as it could, considering I really wanted to deliver vaginally. I was terrified, but D was with me every step of the way. My spinal block didn't hurt nearly like I was expecting, and they inserted my catheter afterward so I didn't feel a thing. I was really dreading the so-called tugging and pressure I was told to expect, but didn't feel any of it. Just a slight pressure when they put weight on my belly to get her out, but even then it was barely anything. I have had the shakes horribly since and before, thanks to my nerves!

All in all, not the awful experience I was thinking it would be!

Either way, I'm so excited and grateful she is here safely!

Delayed.

Delayed until noon.

3 Hours!

I am extremely upset to be having to say this, but at 645, I'm being taken to the OR and by 7am, Baby B will be here.

The cervidil kickstarted my contractions to 1.5-3 minutes apart, hyperstimulating my very irritated uterus. Because of the risk of uterine rupture and resulting fetal trauma, we made the decision to have it removed and to perform a c-section. I am so 100% terrified and upset by this that I cannot even describe, but I was having 90-second contractions 90-180 seconds apart from beginning to beginning for FOUR hours, and I didn't progress whatsoever. Apparently I have a cervix of steel. Thank you, previous LEEP procedures. I would love to tell you that I am at least experiencing some relief since they removed the cervidil, but I am not. They gave me a shot of stadol for the pain, but instead of working and easing me to sleep, it couldn't even mask the pain, and now I've been awake all night long in the worst pain I've ever felt just from the cramps the cervidil caused. Unfortunately, it also made me very sick, and I threw up in excess of 15 times. Not the birth story of anyone's dreams, now, is it? Only now that I've slept in two five-minute bursts am I coherent to post, and only because I know that ill be laid up for quite some time in the hospital and probably won't feel like it again.

I don't mean to scare those left to deliver, but I was completely unprepared for how badly this could go and how excruciating it would really be.

Prep for surgery begins at 6am, and in 2.5 hours, ill meet my little girl. That's just about the only thing keeping me going right now.