I wish I could tell you that this is a post about how I've found a happy medium when it comes to caring for Ava, but rather it's one asking you, dear readers, how you've found/are finding yours.
You see, I find myself constantly conflicted. Am I holding her enough? Am I holding her too often? If I let her cry for 30 seconds while I finish going to the bathroom, will she feel abandoned and become insecure? Should I allow her to cry just for a moment to make sure she can handle not always experiencing immediate gratification? You would think as a child development major I would know all the answers, and regarding the research, I'm pretty well versed. I actually assisted a very prominent attachment researcher in her lab my senior year, and wrote on some of her papers. BUT, sometimes the practical application of this information oresents a conflict, and leaves me wondering what I should do.
Just this morning, I had her sitting next to me in her favorite pillow while I pumped. She was half dozing/half watching me pump with the same why-is-that-thing-stealing-my-milk look she always gives. When I finished, I faced the same dilemma I do every day. Should I pick her up and hold her, or leave her in the pillow? I wasn't doing anything that would require me to have my arms free, and the way she looked at me with those big blue-brown eyes made me feel like she was wishing to snuggle. But then again, shouldn't I let a calm baby lie?
So I ask - how do you strike a good balance to where you can feel good about what you're doing? Or is part of motherhood never feeling 100% confident?