A Call to Action.

What moves you to action?

We're constantly inundated with opportunities to support one cause or another in a variety of ways - through awareness raising or fundraising or letter-writing or phone calling.  We can't possibly respond to everything. 

So which things catch your attention?  Often an experience of our own compels us to act for a particular cause.  Perhaps you lost your mother to breast cancer so breast cancer awareness is where you put your time.  Or maybe your husband has diabetes and you always support fundraising for diabetes prevention.  Maybe you lost a baby cousin to SIDS, & you share every "back to sleep" article or graphic you see on social media. 

Actually, those are all close to home for me.  But my passion is breastfeeding advocacy.  Maybe in part that's because breastfeeding reduces risks for breast cancer, diabetes, and SIDS, as well as a myriad of other life threatening illnesses.  

Breastfeeding has long been treated as a lifestyle choice, but after ages and ages of recommendations by all of the major physician organizations, it is now beginning to be treated as a public health issue.  As such, our society is faced with trying to adjust to the notion that if we want moms to work and we want moms to breastfeed, we must support their efforts to express milk at work.  And to the notion that if we want moms to support the economy and we want moms to breastfeed, we must accept and support that we're going to see them nurse their babies in grocery stores and restaurants.  

Currently there is legislation that would support mothers' efforts to breastfeed at work and in public, but the bills may never see a vote if they're not set for a date on the House floor by the end of the day Monday, May 6th.  

And here's where you will hopefully be moved to action: YOU can help.  In just a few minutes, you can contact legislators and ask them to put HB 741 and HB 1706 on the calendar ASAP.  Whether your cause is postpartum depression support, obesity prevention, child and maternal health, standing up to discrimination, women's rights - the list goes on - advocating for breastfeeding mothers and babies is a cause we can all get behind. 

Please go to TXBFLeg.com and see how you can support nursing moms and babies today in a way that will impact them for so many tomorrows.

I'm Doing My Best.

Lately, I find myself uttering the phrase, "I'm doing my best!" on a regular basis. In fact, it's become a part of my weekly repertoire when it comes to things I say to people as the answer to many a question, including how I'm adjusting to my new fall schedule, to my husband being in grad school, to Ava's sometimes never-ending tantrums and the demands of several children all day.

The other day, I was talking to another mother about Ava's sleeping schedule. Recently, she's gone from a night owl to flat out exhausted come 6PM. I attribute much of this to my newly minted fall schedule, which includes a couple of very early mornings and some long days mixed in. In fact, she's been so tired lately, I have been taking a pull-up and pajamas with me each day, feeding her dinner at ridiculous times (try 4:45!), and bathing her during the day, so that way when she inevitably falls asleep on the drive home a few days a week, we're not unprepared (I'd be lying if I said I didn't love this some nights, especially when D has class and I'm completely alone without anyone else's demands for hours. HOURS!) Anyhow, back to the topic at hand, Ava had previous been an unpredictable sleeper. She prefers to stay up later than most toddlers (she would easily go for a nightly 9pm bedtime or later if I'd allow it), needs help to fall asleep, etc. In short, while she's a low maintenance, well-behaved child, she's kind of a diva when it comes to bedtime.

The other mother I was talking to was relaying that her household was having a similar issue, with her child sometimes taking over an hour and a half to fall asleep, and ending up in their bed at night. I talked to her about how I could completely relate: Ava had slept in the pack-n-play in our room for the first five months, and then we chose to co-sleep from that point on. While that was a choice I still do not regret, it's been anything but the easy choice. Because of my opposition to allowing A to cry it out, we chose a gentler method for our bedtime routine, most frequently where one of us would lay with her (me, usually, nursing her) until she fell asleep peacefully and without crying and other stressful emotions. To this day, despite the presence of a full-sized bed in her own big girl room, we continue to co-sleep.

Now here's the point where I interject that I still do not regret that decision. The time that we've spent cuddled up to our daughter, sleeping peacefully together as a family, is time that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I adore her sweet little snores, the way that she twirls my hair in her sleep, and her natural tendency to gravitate towards me in her sleep. I feel certain that our co-sleeping practice is one of the reasons that Ava and I are so close, and why our breastfeeding relationship lasted as long as it did. But...

For all the times that I've patted myself on the back, I've wondered just as many if I'm screwing Ava up by catering to her sleeping whims like this. If she wouldn't be better off having been allowed to cry it out and work through it herself. If I'm doing the wrong thing.

Isn't that term scary? The "wrong thing", that is. As parents, we face choices for the sake and futures of our children on a daily basis. Whether it's regarding what they're eating, how they're sleeping, who they're friends with, how you've handled their temper tantrums (and they ALL have them, take it from me!), we're so concerned with doing things right and avoiding doing the dreaded "wrong thing" that will send our kids to therapy and cause them to hate us well beyond their teenage years.

The point to this long-winded drivel? Whether or not you co-sleep or allow your child to cry it out, breastfeed or formula feed, allow our children processed food or not, and so on and so forth, we are all doing our very best. Coming from someone who once worked for Child Protective Services, believe me when I say that the vast majority of parents are feeling this out through trial-and-error and doing the very best with what they have to work with. Despite our own personal feelings towards what is "right" when it comes to parenting, there's no one answer. In short, we're all doing our very best (with the obvious exception of a few standout situations, such as child abuse and neglect, etc - obviously.).

Before I was a parent, and especially with being a nanny and having an inside view of the parenting ideologies of other parents, it was easy to judge. I'd see a mom handling a tantrum in the grocery store a certain way and, in typical childless fashion, make a mental note of how I would "never" do that. You know, like when I carried Ava, kicking and screaming, from Target? Yeah, I thought that certainly my child would never behave in a way that necessitated that. Or the time that I bribed her with candy to get her into her car seat after another said fit in a public place because I was so completely worn out from handling the situation that I would have bought her a baby Hummer if that was her request to make it end. Or how I nursed my fully-grown toddler not only past her first year, but past her second, and allow her to sleep in our bed? Yeah, I'd "never" do that ;)

My point, though I'm currently taking a while to arrive there (sorry!), is to be kind to your fellow mothers. Or, if you're childless, consider karma before you give the evil eye to a mom who is struggling to handle their overtired two-year-old - ha! We're all in the same boat. We've all (barring those with round-the-clocks nannies, chefs, and a plethora of home employees) had a child fall completely apart in public. We've all been up five times in one night with a deadline looming and a cold coming on. We've all had a baby on our hip, dinner burning on the stove and the phone ringing. So the next time you see a  parent unraveling in front of you, cut them some slack. Or, better yet, lend them a helping, non-judgmental hand. Chances are, they're doing their best.

The Mothers' Milk Bank of Austin: How You Can Save the Lives of Sick and Premature Infants.

If you've been to my little corner of the internet before, you likely are aware that I'm a big breastfeeding advocate. I, myself, breastfed Ava for 27 months - despite an under-supply, a dairy-free year, and Ava's numerous food intolerances. And? I miss it all the time.

Because of my feelings on breastfeeding, and the amazing benefits of breast milk, I was delighted when the Mothers' Milk Bank of Austin reached out and invited me to come and take a tour of their amazing lab and facility. I consider myself quite knowledgeable about the act of breastfeeding and all that it entails, but I was surprised to learn so much about milk banks, and - in particular - the disparaging shortage of donor milk and the immense need for it!

The first thing I learned - and the one that really stuck with me - is that Austin's Milk Bank is one of only twelve in North America, ten of which are in the United States. What's more, the Austin location actually is one of only two that analyze the nutritional content of donor milk and label it to best decide which babies need what. That way, the sickest babies and the smallest preemies get the higher-calorie milk that they need to grow, whereas those who are beginning to thrive do not need as specialized of milk.

Also? I was under the mistake impression that the milk bank served more than just sick babies. In my misguided head, I believed that mothers that were unable to breastfeed for one reason or another were able to get donated milk. That's just not the case. The milk that is donated goes to feed sick and premature infants only, and unfortunately, the babies in need of donor milk far outnumber the amount of donors readily available.

If you remember from two-and-a-half years ago (I know a few of you have been reading that long aside from my mom), I attempted to contact the milk bank regarding my own milk, but was unable to donate because I was taking medications for PPD. While I was sad about not being to donate, knowing that the milk is given to babies who are, in some cases, severely ill made it clearer to me why it was important that the milk not have any medications seep into it. Hopefully next time I'll be able to donate my excess milk!

Aside from educating us about the Mothers' Milk Bank of Austin's mission and the population that it serves, we also were taken on a thorough tour of the lab, and treated to an inside look at the pasteurization process. As we all know, human milk can transmit a number of infectious diseases, and so the donors and the milk both undergo an intense screening and pasteurization process in order to ensure the safety and quality of the milk donations. 

Here's a bit of how they do that:
-First, potential donors undergo a screening tool, similar to one that blood donors give, over the phone. If they "pass", so to speak, they then are required to take a blood test to check for infectious diseases that can be passed through milk (HIV, Hepatitis, etc.), as well as get confirmation from both their physician and their child's pediatrician (to make sure that their baby is not in need of the extra milk) in order to become donors. Initial donations are at a minimum of 100 oz (the milk bank takes on the expense of the aforementioned screenings, so the commitment is so the cost is a good investment). After that, donors can bring in donations of any size.

-Then, once the milk is brought in, it heads to the lab:

 In here, staff and volunteers (who scrub in and are dressed like surgeons!) pour thawed milk into flasks and analyze the samples for fat, protein and lactose content. Then, the milk is poured into BPA-free bottles to undergo pasteurization to kill potentially harmful viruses and bacteria. Though heating the milk can damage certain immunoglobins, the milk retains about 70% of its healthful and life-saving properties - a significant amount to any preemie or sick baby!

The milk is then stored in a series of deep freezers, with nutritional content labeled for ease of distribution.

All of the milk distributed is by prescription, with over 82 hospitals and 56 outpatients served last year! If those numbers aren't clear, in the thirteen years that the Mothers' Milk Bank of Austin has been open, they have helped to save the lives of nearly 13,000 babies! That's about 1,000 babies yearly whose lives have been touched by those willing to share their milk!

If you're in the area - or in or nearby an area with a donation center - please consider donating milk to a milk bank! If you're still undecided, or want to show your support of breastfeeding women and parents of preemies and sick infants, below is a list of events the Mothers' Milk Bank of Austin is putting on for World Breastfeeding Month this month! I'd love to see any of you out there!

Upcoming Events:

ROCK-A-BYE, BABY! Join us for a rockin’ good time with Austin music treasure, Elizabeth McQueen on Wednesday, August 8th at Central Market (on 38th & Lamar) from 7-9 p.m.! This breastfeeding and milk banking awareness concert, hosted by the Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin, will feature music, fun and prizes. This is a FREE family-friendly event!

A NIGHT AT THE MOVIES! Want to learn more about Donor Milk? Join us Tuesday, August 14th at the South Lamar Alamo Drafthouse from 7:00- 9:00pm for the Austin premiere of Donor Milk: The Documentary. To purchase tickets visit www.milkbank.org.

BREAST FRIENDS! Join us on Wednesday, August 15th from 6-7:30 p.m. at the MMBA office as we launch our brand new breastfeeding support group, The Breast Connection, which will provide breastfeeding moms a comfortable and compassionate place to meet and connect with other moms. See our events website page for more details!

PEEK-A-BOO! Come take a peek—the week of August 20th we will be hosting daily “Milk & Cookies” tours of our state-of-the-art processing lab at the Milk Bank. We want to share first-hand with our community how donor milk is safely pasteurized for the premature and ill babies we serve. Please
contact emily@milkbank.org for dates and times.

SHOP FOR OUR CAUSE! What is better than a night out shopping with friends? How about supporting your favorite non-profit at the same time? Come out to Ten Thousand Villages (a fair trade retailer located on South Congress) on Tuesday, August 28th from 5-9 p.m. and shop for unique gifts and have a glass of wine with us! A percentage of the evening’s sales will be donated to the Mothers' Milk Bank at Austin. 

If you're unable to make it to an event but are interested in donating milk or having a speaker from Mothers' Milk Bank of Austin, please reach out to them - they are lovely to work with and have embarked on such a great and admirable mission! 

A Bittersweet Ending.

I've been taking my time in writing this post. In fact, it's about five weeks behind schedule, mainly because by typing these words, I have to admit the fact that it is actually over. And, though two and a half years ago I never would have thought it would be the case, I am sad about it.

Ava is no longer breastfeeding.

OK you extended breastfeeding haters: feel free to check out now. I respect all opinions, but I'm so emotional over this, the last thing I want is some closed-minded a-hole anonymous commenter criticizing how long we breastfed in the first place. Sure, we nursed longer than your average duo, but the time that I spent with Ava at my breast, both as a baby and as a nursing toddler, was some of the most beautiful and loving time I can think of.

I was lucky. Ava took to breastfeeding really easily, and despite some early issues with my production and a wicked case of mastitis mixed in, it was smooth going for us. In fact, when the time came for her first birthday - the goal I had set for our nursing relationship - I wasn't bothered in the slightest that she showed no signs of stopping. Add in my own sentiments on breastfeeding with the fact that she had a terrible milk protein sensitivity that barred her from any dairy, and we were a match made in lactation heaven.

I've not been without my critics. Sure, there are some I know who would ask, rather pointedly, "Are you EVER going to stop nursing that child?" But, in staying true to my gentler parenting philosophies, I knew early on that I would let her choose when we weaned, and she never showed any interest in quitting.

She nursed less and less between her first and second birthdays, with her going from nap and night time nursing to strictly night time. When we chose to night wean her, and to allow her milk only before bed and when she woke up, she quickly adapted, and I knew that the end was near. But rather than getting any other hints that our time nursing would soon be over, it happened suddenly. A week before our wedding (you know, with just enough time to ensure my boobs would be smaller in my dress on my wedding day - damn it!), I went to put Ava to sleep, and when I offered her "mommy milk" like every night, she simply said, "No." I responded cheerfully and laid with her while she fell asleep, but once those eyes were good and shut, the waterworks came.

I know it's silly. She's not a baby anymore, and we were ready. 27 months of breastfeeding is no small feat, and I'm so very proud of the time and effort that I put into that relationship with her. But I'm still sad about the ending of what was undoubtedly one of the most special bonding periods in our life.

Thank you, Ava, for the 27 months of nursing we shared, and for allowing me a two-and-a-half year extension on time with you that was only mine. Thank you for teaching me about parenting, and for teaching me about love, and for teaching me to be open-minded and to embrace change in myself. I simply adore you.

Happy Hallowean!

Nope. Not a typo. Also? I know Halloween was a few days ago, but I just could NOT come up with a relative title for this post, so that's the best I could do. Deal with it.

Anyhow, this is the post where - rather than revealing Ava's fifth Halloween costume - I ask for advice from any extended breastfeeders out there. That's right. We may not have had a heart to heart about it in recent months, but I am still breastfeeding Ava.

I know that most people may think that's a bit odd. In fact, I definitely fell into the aforementioned category prior to having a child. But between Ava's love of nursing and the comfort it gives her, and her milk protein intolerance, it's been the best choice for us. I could go on and on justifying why I'm still nursing my 22 month old, but - long story short - it's been what has worked best for our family. The end.

Now, though, I'm feeling like that ship has sailed. More and more I'm wanting to start the weaning process - and more and more she's pushing back on my attempts. I try to put her off when she wants milk and I feel like she doesn't really need it (aka bedtime/naptime), and she collapses into pitiful cries of, "Mama milk, peeeeaaase! Pease?" Then she starts signing please. Ok, Ok, Ava. I get it.

So - I need advice. Any weaning tips for a toddler. Also, anything to make it easier on mom? As much as it'll be nice to have my body entirely to myself for the first time in 2.5 years, I will admit to feeling sad about this time being over. Also, I definitely don't want to do it abruptly and have it mess with her feelings of security and comfort - I'm a real weirdo about my child not feeling abandoned or rejected at any cost.

Thanks, guys!

Disappointed.

There has been an incident in my area involving a breastfeeding mother being shamed and told she had to stop nursing her baby in a public place. I could tell you all about it, but seeing as how my post would reek of my own rage and personal bias over the incident, why not go check out what went down here.

Anyone else in Austin interested in a nurse-in? If you're not, would you be willing to send in a letter? Kim gives many great addresses and suggestions for doing so in her post.

Let's please help to educate those who are of small enough mind to still think of breastfeeding as disgraceful.

17 Months of Nursing and Going Strong.

I have a confession to make: I have a 17-month-old that I still breastfeed, and I can't remember a time anymore when I gave a damn what people think about it.

I'm looking at you, unnamed family member.

Anywho, there it is. I'm an extended breastfeeder. And while my fifteen-year-old self cringes at the thought, my mature, 27-year-old self (yeah, I recently turned 27...woot woot!) says, "Don't be a judgmental b, girl!"

I made this proclamation on Twitter the other day, and was met with a few responses. Of course, there are some lovely ladies I know who are in the same boat who tweeted something along the lines of, "Way to go, B!" in response. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are those I know are still breastfeeding also who said nothing for one reason or another, as well as those who either voiced or kept silent their disapproval for whatever reason. But the most discouraging response of all was the one woman who said, "Me too, but only because of (insert reason here), and we're going to wean soon, and I only do it (x amount) per day and NEVER in public."

I don't mean at all to belittle her, as I'm proud to say I know her and that she is still giving her little one what's best for him in their particular situation. I just felt sad that we live in a society where you automatically feel the need to take the defensive for something as healthy and natural as breastfeeding.

Lord, have mercy. Who ever would've thought when I begrudgingly posted that I was going to breastfeed since it was the best thing but that I didn't "want" to, that I'd turn into such a lactivist?!

Anyhow, this is my way of standing in support of all those who breastfeed, whether for six months, or nine months, or a year or longer. In fact, I may very well continue to nurse Ava until she's two, as I'm allowing her to self-wean, and she's still very much attached to nursing. It's not hurting her, her physical and emotional development are exceptional and she's as healthy as can be, and mama has been to the gym a total of three times (for yoga class!) in the past two years, and weighs less than before I was pregnant. I'm really in no hurry to stop :)

So if you're feeling like you're alone in breastfeeding a toddler, or ashamed by it, DON'T! I respect you! I admire you! Me, your pediatrician, your baby, the health care system of the US - we all thank you!

How Our Health Care System is Failing Mothers (& Therefore Babies).

I had an interesting Saturday. I woke up and nursed Ava like I do every morning, except instead of nursing with ease, my slightly sore nipples (this may be the time to bow out, boys!) felt excruciating, so painful to the point where I was wide awake and struggling to allow her to finish nursing.

Now this isn't my first rodeo, seeing as how we've been a nursing baby/mama couplet for the past 15 months, and so I was confused. My immediate thought was thrush, as it was a burning, razors-coming-through-my-nipples feeling that continued after the feeding ended, and so seeing as how my doc wasn't open Saturdays, I called A's, assuming she'd need treatment. Fast forward through that very upsetting appointment (homegirl HATES the doctor's office!), and no signs of thrush for A.

Not knowing what to do but unable to make it 48 hours until my doctor's office opened Monday without treatment, I called the S&W Clinic, praying they'd have a Saturday appointment. They sure did! I felt hopeful that they'd be able to write my an oral script to take, and we'd knock this thing right out.

The doctor, who - to what little credit he deserves - was not an OB/GYN, was visibly confused. I explained to him the issue and what I was feeling and how I was pretty certain it was thrush, and how it wasn't mastitis as I've had that experience before, but he seemed uncomfortable more than anything. Look, dude. I don't really feel like talking about and showing my breasts to a stranger, either, but at least you're getting paid, and not the one PAYING to have this awkward chat.

He looked me over, and said, "Hmm, yes. They certainly seem raw. But they're not splotched with white, so it's not likely thrush." Oh. OK.

Instead, he wrote me a prescription for antibiotic cream that - if it is thrush, since white and splotchy patches aren't necessarily a symptom! - will make things much, MUCH worse. Needless to say, I didn't fill it. He couldn't give me a single reason why I should use antibiotic cream and what he was prescribing it for, and I'm still not convinced it's not thrush. This, however, is forgivable. What isn't is what came next. The inevitable, "Maybe you should quit breastfeeding."

SAY WHAT?!

When I looked visibly perturbed, he backtracked, saying, "You know, just for a couple days while they heal."

Um, are you the most clueless medical doctor in the world? My milk will dry up if I stop breastfeeding for "a couple days", you idiot. And the pump isn't going to go any easier on them.

Why is it that doctors always sprint towards discouraging breastfeeding mothers? I'm no saint, obviously, but how about an encouraging, "Wow, way to go! Way to stick with it and give your baby what is best!", or even just a nod to the sacrifice. Not to get all holier than thou, but if you could refrain from discouraging and judging my choice - the BEST choice for her, esp. given her dairy issues - I'd appreciate it, doc.

UGH.

Why aren't more general practitioners well-versed in breastfeeding knowledge? Why can't they go the teeny tiny extra distance to learn how to best treat nursing mothers - and therefore their babies - rather than giving the extremely lazy response of telling them to toss in the towel?!


(I remembered my signature finally - lol!)

I Love Motherlove.

This isn't the first time I've talked about Motherlove products on this blog (Don't you just love great deals on the internet?!). If you remember from when Ava was just weeks old, my lactation consultant recommended one of their products, More Milk Special Blend capsules, in order to help boost my dwindling supply, and I can honestly say I credit Motherlove with my ability to have made it through that hurdle to be a still breastfeeding mama today!

So imagine how happy I was when I was contacted by their wonderful PR person about doing a review! Seeing as how I'm not in those early stages of breastfeeding anymore - where their breast pads and nipple cream rule the world - or pregnant (praise Jesus! haha) - where their pregnant belly oil and rhoid creme would come in very handy - I asked to review two of their wonderful salves: Their Diaper Rash & Thrush Salve, and their Green Salve.



I can honestly say that both of these products are at the top of their category. I have been incredibly lucky in that Ava has never had terrible diaper rash (because I'm breastfeeding, perhaps?), but because of her tummy issues with dairy and eggs, occasionally we have a diaper that causes some immediate irritation. We had one such occasion just about a week and a half ago, and I put the Motherlove Diaper Rash & Thrush Salve on her tushy right before putting her to bed for the night. The salve is made with 96% certified organic products, and has a zero rating on the Environmental Working Group's toxin scale (meaning it has ZERO toxins!), so I felt comfortable putting it on Ava's sweet skin. And I was glad I did, since she woke up in the morning irritation-free!



The other product I received, Motherlove's Green Salve, is a lifesaver if you - like me - live in an area where humidity and nearly year-round warm temperatures keep the mosquitoes alive and well all year, leading to those pesky, itchy mosquito bites. While I try to keep Ava covered in mosquito-repellent, bites still happen from time to time, and Motherlove's Green Salve was able to take the itch right out, for me, and - seeing as how she left them alone to heal ASAP - for Ava.

Thank you, Motherlove, for such a mom-, baby- and Earth-friendly line of products!

Nursing-isms, Part II.

Now that Ava's older, her nursing behaviors are changing, but still so, SO cute. For example:

-It's been cold here in Austin lately, and so Ava has taken to sticking the hand that's not wrapped around my back in the top of my shirt to keep it warm. Adorable.

-I can't tell if she's just hungry, or if since she's been nursing a bit more (her appetite for solid food has been down since her teeth are coming in and she's not feeling much like eating), the milk isn't coming in fast enough, but lately A has taken to smooshing her face into me and emitting a low "grrrrrrrrrr" over and over until the milk really starts to flow. Ahhhh precious!

-Not as cute? The other day Ava was getting frustrated, and grabbed me so hard that she got a nice spray of milk right in the eyeball. Haha! That's what you get, little lady!

What cute things are your still-nursing babies doing?

Laughing in the Face of 13-Months-Ago B...

While I don't regret the way things are with Ava, I will say this: I *will* do some things different if we ever have a second child. Here's just a quick comparison of where we are, as opposed to what my babyless-self had in mind as to where we'd be. Contain your laughter, if you will :)

Sleep:
What I said: "My baby will sleep in her crib from day one!" and, the hilarious gem, "We would *never* even consider co-sleeping."

Ha! Haha! Excuse me a second as I double over laughing.

The reality: That crib we bought from Italian designer Pali (albeit secondhand, thank God!)? Yeah, never been slept in. Currently being used as storage. A is happily, sleepily curled up in our bed, where she sleeps for every nap and every night. And even more surprisingly to current me? This works for us, at least for the time being. I'm not saying I want to round out this, her second, year with her in our bed still, but she's still so little - toddler or not - that it works for us and we're happy.

The other reality: These may be related, but what's done is done and you know where I stand about CIO: Ava doesn't sleep straight through the night. Yeah, yeah, shame on me for not letting her cry, but 13 months in, I still cannot support crying herself to sleep in an act of learned helplessness as the best way to sleep train. I've never met a child who still continued to wake up and nurse through the night their entire lives, so rest assured, this too shall pass.

Breastfeeding:
What I said: "Just make it to 3 months..."

Reality: 12.5 months old, and the only two fluids she has ever received are water and breastmilk (yes, i'm anti-juice, but again, another story for another day).

What I said: "I'll never be one of those women nursing a toddler. If they're old enough to ask for it, they're too old."

Reality: Sometimes I just want to slap B-of-old. I stick to my guns about not being that mother at Kindermusik bra-less and letting her 18 month old nurse at will off and on throughout the class, but we still nurse 4+ times daily, at night and between meals, and both of us are still very happy with the arrangement, even if A says something that sounds suspiciously like "ma mil" (we've always asked her if she wants "mama milk") and signs milk.

TV:
What I said: "I'll never be one of those women whose children watch TV all day."

Reality: This one I've held up on bigtime, because I see so many children set in front of the TV so their parents can go about pretending like they're not parents and engage with their children. That being said, we permit A to watch a half hour of Dora on average twice per week, and I don't feel guilty about it. First and foremost, she's not passively watching, but rather engaged, pointing at Boots, Swiper, Dora, Backpack and being able to do so when asked. She makes the animal noises when animals are on screen, and then walks off to play with one of her toys. She's not in a TV daze. I grew up an only child and therefore watched a TON of TV growing up, since there wasn't anyone except adults for me to play with and - let's face it - adults tire of playing kid games. I'm also college educated with two degrees, would choose a book over TV any day of the week, and am a published writer, so things didn't go too downhill for me, did they?

How are things different for you than you imagined? In what ways did you change your thinking being a parent, and are you glad you did?

Wean Me Gently.

I came across this poem recently, and thought it was so appropriate, considering our babies ages and their stage in the weaning process. It's so upsetting to me (surprisingly!) that Ava is starting to be less interested in nursing. She remains an avid nurser at night and before naps, but during the day, homegirl wants food and playtime! She also likes to nurse in strange ways, what I like to call "nursenastics". She likes to stand facing me bent over nursing, and sometimes picks a leg up, so that it looks like she's in Warrior III. My little yogi :) Anyhow, enjoy:

I know I look so big to you,
Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.
But no matter how big we get,
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don't break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.

Whip Em Out!

Thanks, Ashlie, for sharing! This video is awesome.

And believe me - these ladies aren't lying. I've lost 30 lbs and haven't had a period in over a year and a half!

Calling All Breastfeeding Mamas!

Alright, ladies. I have a favor to ask.

Whether you're able to just spread the word via twitter, your blog, word of mouth - whatever - or if you're willing and able to make even a small donation, there is a baby in Minnesota who needs our help.

Baby M was born just mere weeks ago to a mommy and daddy who love him and wanted him very much. His parents tried for years and years to get pregnant, and sadly, Baby M’s mama had many miscarriages and lost a baby in the middle of her pregnancy last year, too. Finally, at the end of August, she gave birth to a perfect, healthy little boy just a couple weeks ago. And then she passed away in her sleep just seven days later from a rare, unexplained rupture in her heart. You can find the full story here.

This mother had wanted to breastfeed her son, to provide the very best start for him in life, and his father wants desperately to carry our her wishes. Seeing as how milk banks are quite costly, here's where I ask for your help: I am assisting MckMama and a friend of the family by donating some of my excess milk, as you'll remember in a post a while back that my attempt to donate to our local milk bank had been unsuccessful due to the fact that I take Zoloft for my PPD. I am still waiting to hear back on whether or not I'll be able to donate now, but if so, I am hoping to send at least 100 ozs of breastmilk to Minnesota, as there are women who are willing to help with shipping costs.

Mamas, if you're able, know anyone who is able, are willing to spread the word, etc., please help this little one who has lost his mama, and his grieving father. Thank you, all!!!

ACL Festival 2010 - Pumping Dilemma.

Here's the deal. I've gone to Austin City Limits music festival for the past four years in a row. It's a tradition for D and I, one that I love. That being said, while I was pretty damn pregnant last year, this is obviously my first year with a kiddo I'd be away from, which poses a multitude of problems.

Forget for a second, if you will, that despite her being over eight months old, she's never had a sitter.

Forget, as well, that I've never been away from her for more than six hours.

Those two things I could get over, as, eventually, I'll have to get over it and be apart from my little sweetie for longer than a handful of hours. To be honest, there are days I *wish* she was going to daycare, when I have a laundry list of things to do and a baby that's just not having it. As of right now, D's parents are coming into town to watch her, which....should be interesting. So forget those two things above.

My dilemma involves how to deal with pumping. I'm going to be gone for at least 11-12 hours, from roughly 11AM-11PM. While for those of you with babies that sleep twelve hour stretches may be in a position to go that long without nursing/pumping, A still eats in the middle of the night, as well as often during the day, and frankly, I'm not sure how to address this in order to be able to go. While I've slowly but surely become more comfortable nursing in public, I am just NOT going to pump in public. I just can't do it. It's isolating enough being the lone couple with a child, but to be sequestered off in a corner pumping under a nursing cover in a venue of like 100,000 people. Uh, no thanks.

Are there other options? Since I only have a one-day pass this year, I'm not able to leave and re-enter, which would be the easy and obvious fix. And while I don't think my milk will dry up by any means if I went that long, I would be VERY uncomfortable. Like bursting, leaking, in pain uncomfortable.

Ideas?

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

Today ends this year's World Breastfeeding Week, a week promoting the benefits of breastfeeding and the efforts being made to make more hospitals "baby-friendly", or more supportive and helpful with regards to breastfeeding!

I was very lucky in that I had both a great support staff, a mother who was very encouraging during her five-day visit when A was a week old, and most importantly, a champion nurser from the beginning. Though I always knew I would breastfeed, knowing the benefits and wanting to give A the very best start I could, I wasn't looking forward to it by any means until A was born. Once she was here, I immediately fell in love with nursing, and am happy to report that over the past seven and a half months, A has had nothing but breast milk!

Why do I love nursing? Part of it has stemmed from the hormonal release that makes me instantly calm. When I was going through the worst of my postpartum depression, nursing A would provide me with relief that I could rarely find any other time of the day, so much so I wouldn't have minded had she wanted to eat every hour. Thankfully, though, she was always a good eater, taking in full meals as opposed to "snacks" (thank you, babywise!) and not making me a slave to her appetite.

I also love nursing because I really and truly feel bonded to A because of it. Not that I'm suggesting formula-feeding mommies can't be as bonded to their babies - of course they can! This was just our experience.

Also, the weight loss is a perk worth mentioning. I know it doesn't work this way for everyone so I don't mean to brag, but I was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans by the time my mom and I took A for her newborn pictures (at 10 days old), and had lost all my pregnancy weight by my six-week check. In fact, I'm currently sitting several pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight - the thinnest I've been in a few years! Anyone have a baby they want breastfed when A weans? I could reach my lowest weight since high school if so ;)

Anyhow, for all of my fellow breastfeeding mommies, be it for a day or for years, happy World Breastfeeding Week!

My Little Mommy Monster.

Help, friends.

Two things. First, Ava bit me so hard yesterday on not one but TWO occasions, that she drew blood. I said no very firmly and ended the feeding, but does anyone have any othe suggestions on how to deal with this? It may be getting the point across, but as we're just introducing "no" as a concept, it may take a few days or weeks before she starts to understand what that means. Seeing as how I never use that tone of voice towards her (or around her, for that matter), as of right now she just flashes me a devilish little grin. What a cutie pie monster pants.

Also, Ava has been a bit of a handful for her dad lately. And by handful, I'm being exceptionally generous. I went to a fantastically gluttonous brunch and pedicure girls day Sunday only to have him text me two hours in with "When are you going to be back???" Hmm...nothing takes away from the fun of having time off like stressing about needing to rush home. Anyhow, she was "#&$!@ hysterical" according to D, and when I got home they were awaiting my arrival in the driveway. Turns out little toot refuses to take a bottle, therefore screaming about being hungry. As soon as I got he in my arms, she turned that frown upside down, ate a nice little mama milk lunch, and fell fast asleep. Needless to say, D was not amused.

I'm not sure if the issue here is that she spends a ton of time with me and is a textbook mommy's girl, or just that she was flipping out from being hungry. Either way, the whole bottle protest thing needs to end...ASAP. Mommy needs some time off, ya know? Anyone have any tips on how to get her to begin taking a bottle again? We introduced it at two weeks, and she's never had a problem before a few weeks ago when she was sick/teething, although she's always had a clear preference for me. All tips/ideas welcome!

Happy Tuesday! Hopefully this week picks up the pace!

A Quick Note on Dairy, Breastfeeding & The Like.

A lot of people have been telling me I should consider giving up breastfeeding, and I understand why you would say that. I really do. If you think I don't want Hula Hut and cookie cake for my birthday tomorrow, you're crazy! I miss chocolate, and I crave cheese in a way I didn't think possible! The thing is, I have no intention of stopping. Ava has never had so much as a drop of formula, and that's something I'm really proud of for us. While I would never want to make a decision that would harm my little girl, I do think that the occasional dairy oversight that leads to a blowout diaper is a small price to pay for being able to offer her nature's most precious, well-balanced, perfect food. While it's difficult for me to find things to eat sometimes, I am more than willing to do so (and hopefully better my own health in the process) for her. That doesn't mean I won't complain about it sometimes, but I know that it's worthwhile. Not to mention, soy formula is expensive!

The doctor had told us that with her allergy, we should test out her dairy tolerance occasionally to see if she had a tolerance for it. If not, to try again a month later. If she's continuously exposed to it (besides those tests), her allergy can get worse and potentially not be outgrown, which is why the reaction seems to be more intense the more she's exposed to it. I just need to be more careful.

Anyhow, I'm not meaning to sound like I'm judging anyone elses choices, because I'm not. I'm just trying to do what I feel is best for my own little one in our particular situation. I love nursing, and so does she. I mean, she really, really loves it. She looks confused each and every time she gets a bottle, which is not often, kind of like she's being deprived of something. We frequently curl up together on the couch and I nurse her lying down, and she falls asleep with her arms around me. And I would feel so deprived of feeling her little hand and fingers tapping on my back while she nurses. Neither of us are at a point where we're ready to toss in the towel :)

Hello, Friday!

HAPPY FIVE MONTH BIRTHDAY AVA!!!!!!!

Did I mention she's sitting up tripod-style (with her hands bracing in front of her) for short periods?? So proud!

Despite it being D's birthday, yesterday sucked. Long story short, the D's dog ate a tube of sunscreen in it's entirety (packaging and all), and so he had to be rushed to the animal hospital (well, after puking about 15 times, many of which were in my SUV). Then, while out for dinner at The County Line, Ava had a disaster of a diaper that took 30 minutes and an entire travel package of wipes to clean up, only for me to discover I hadn't put a second outfit in the diaper bag. She wore he swimsuit bottoms and a sweater home. It just felt like one (extremely messy) thing after another.

Today, though, is going to rock. I have faith. I'll be getting my car detailed, courtesy of the D's, and am heading back to Home Depot (for the fourth time since last Friday!) to get some more plants and the materials to build a garden box. Wish me luck!

Regarding A's accident yesterday, though, it seems as though her dairy allergy is getting worse. Whereas it seemed like the triggers were mainly obvious dairy sources (milk, cheese, ice cream, etc.), now it seems as though she's reacting to whey as well, along with other hidden sources of dairy. What are some hidden sources? Let me fill you in:

*Whey, like I've previously mentioned, is in EVERYTHING. I mean, seriously, any snack food ever. Graham crackers, cereal bars, granola, most cereals, you name it. If it has a D on the package next to the circled U or K for "kosher", it contains dairy. Wah.
*Butter is something that's easy to overlook. That BLT you thought was safe to order? Nope - the bread is typically buttered. Same goes for many other sandwiches, breads, pastries (which typically contain dairy anyhow..).
*This is the one that really gets me. Breading for many products, most inconveniently CHICKEN STRIPS, contains dairy in most cases. Kill me.
*Obviously anything with chocolate, including chocolate flavoring. The only chocolate thing that doesn't contain dairy is cocoa roasted almonds. I eat probably 1,000 calories worth a day (eek) trying to satisfy my chocolate cravings!

So I ask...what the crap am I supposed to eat? I'm now having to eliminate ALL dairy, which leaves me grasping for ideas.

My go-to foods?
Apple w/ PB
Anything w/ PB really. I crave PB like crazy!
Fruits
Steamed Veggies
Cocoa Almonds
Cashews
Craisins
Beans. I seriously eat like a can of beans a day. Black, Charro, Refried Black, you name it.
Salad
Tortillas

Please help. A gal cannot subsist on these foods alone!

Alright...off to get the car detailed and hit the hardware store.

The Great Baby Food Debate.

Now that all of our babies are either at or nearing four months, I thought I'd ask my fellow mommies opinions on cereal. When are you planning to start your little sweetie on solids? Are you starting with cereal, or just going to mashed up solids? Are you going with store-bought or homemade?

I'm reallllllllly leaning towards putting off solids until six months. I love breastfeeding, and Ava has no complaints either, particularly now that I've given up dairy, so I don't see why I can't continue to exclusively breastfeed until she's at least six months.

Here are some of the benefits, and the argument for postponing solids until at least six months of age, per Kelly Mom, an absolutely terrific source of information for the breastfeeding mother:

Delaying solids gives baby greater protection from illness.
Although babies continue to receive many immunities from breastmilk for as long as they nurse, the greatest immunity occurs while a baby is exclusively breastfed. Breastmilk contains 50+ known immune factors, and probably many more that are still unknown. One study has shown that babies who were exclusively breastfed for 4+ months had 40% fewer ear infections than breastfed babies whose diets were supplemented with other foods. The probability of respiratory illness occurring at any time during childhood is significantly reduced if the child is fed exclusively breast milk for at least 15 weeks and no solid foods are introduced during this time. Many other studies have also linked the degree of exclusivity of breastfeeding to enhanced health benefits.

Delaying solids gives baby's digestive system time to mature.
If solids are started before a baby's system is ready to handle them, they are poorly digested and may cause unpleasant reactions (digestive upset, gas, constipation, etc.). Protein digestion is incomplete in infancy. Gastric acid and pepsin are secreted at birth and increase toward adult values over the following 3 to 4 months. The pancreatic enzyme amylase does not reach adequate levels for digestion of starches until around 6 months, and carbohydrate enzymes such as maltase, isomaltase, and sucrase do not reach adult levels until around 7 months. Young infants also have low levels of lipase and bile salts, so fat digestion does not reach adult levels until 6-9 months.

Delaying solids decreases the risk of food allergies.
It is well documented that prolonged exclusive breastfeeding results in a lower incidence of food allergies. From birth until somewhere between four and six months of age, babies possess what is often referred to as an "open gut." This means that the spaces between the cells of the small intestines will readily allow intact macromolecules, including whole proteins and pathogens, to pass directly into the bloodstream. This is great for your breastfed baby as it allows beneficial antibodies in breastmilk to pass more directly into baby's bloodstream, but it also means that large proteins from other foods (which may predispose baby to allergies) and disease-causing pathogens can pass right through, too. During baby's first 4-6 months, while the gut is still "open," antibodies from breastmilk coat baby's digestive tract and provide passive immunity, reducing the likelihood of illness and allergic reactions before gut closure occurs. Baby starts producing these antibodies on his own at around 6 months, and gut closure should have occurred by this time also.

Delaying solids helps to protect baby from iron-deficiency anemia.
The introduction of iron supplements and iron-fortified foods, particularly during the first six months, reduces the efficiency of baby's iron absorption. Healthy, full-term infants who are breastfed exclusively for periods of 6-9 months have been shown to maintain normal hemoglobin values and normal iron stores. In one study, the researchers concluded that babies who were exclusively breastfed for 7 months (and were not give iron supplements or iron-fortified cereals) had significantly higher hemoglobin levels at one year than breastfed babies who received solid foods earlier than seven months. The researchers found no cases of anemia within the first year in babies breastfed exclusively for seven months and concluded that breastfeeding exclusively for seven months reduces the risk of anemia.

Delaying solids helps to protect baby from future obesity.
The early introduction of solids is associated with increased body fat and weight in childhood.

Delaying solids helps mom to maintain her milk supply.
Studies have shown that for a young baby solids replace milk in a baby's diet - they do not add to baby's total intake. The more solids that baby eats, the less milk he takes from mom, and less milk taken from mom means less milk production. Babies who eat lots of solids or who start solids early tend to wean prematurely.

Delaying solids helps to space babies.
Breastfeeding is most effective in preventing pregnancy when your baby is exclusively breastfed and all of his nutritional and sucking needs are satisfied at the breast.

Delaying solids makes starting solids easier.
Babies who start solids later can feed themselves and are not as likely to have allergic reactions to foods.

All of these seem like valid arguments to me, not to mention that continuing to exclusively breastfeed is:

*free
*convenient (no cereal to mix, meals to be home for, etc)
*a great way to use up extra calories!

As far as the baby food goes, I think I've mentioned before that I intend to make Ava's baby food at home...anyone else planning to do this? Anyone with experience with this that can suggest some helpful resources?