Thursday, July 8, 2010

B & The Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

I'm not quite sure I'll be able to make it through this post without bursting into tears for what quite possibly could be the 12098289423894th time today. Why, you ask? Ava got hurt pretty badly today, and while she's absolutely fine now, I've never felt more sad and horrible and like a worse mother in my life.

I picked up the girls from their camp at 1pm, and then, not having had time for lunch due to an impromptu mommy & baby nap, headed back to their house to make a quick lunch while we hurriedly changed clothes and packed a bag for P's second camp of the day. Having very few dairy-free choices there, I opted for Chicken Pomodoro soup. After heating the soup up in the microwave, I sat down at the table with S to work a puzzle as I ate, while A played happily next to us on the floor. Or, more accurately, happily until she realized she could attempt to climb my leg, at which point I opted to pick her up as opposed to becoming a human jungle gym on a schedule.

This next part is where it gets bad. I can't believe this happened, friends. I consider myself a super attentive and detail-oriented person when it comes to what my baby (and the girls I watch) is doing, as well as what she's capable of and could potentially do. Yet somehow, I managed to overestimate the distance between Ava's reach and my bowl of hot soup, and before I could even blink an eye, she had flipped it over, sending hot soup all over her head, face, neck, back, right arm and side.

In whatever time passed between that second, and me having her clothes off and in a sink full of ice water, I have no recollection. My first aid training snapped into fight or flight status, and I managed to have her in the sink with cold water and ice surrounding her in a minute flat. But can I tell you that I've never been so scared and so upset in my entire life? While hysterical wouldn't be the right word, seeing as how I was doing everything in my power to keep her calm through her screams, the amount of silent tears pouring from my eyes could've filled Town Lake.

Ava's one tough mama. She went from silent scream to hysterical and pitiful in seconds, but somehow, by the grace of God, by five minutes from the accident, she was clinging to me for dear life, but calm and fearless. My sweet little darling. You're so brave, A.

I called the pediatrician while I had A in the sink. Have I mentioned that I love him for giving out his home number? He talked me through it, asking if she was welting (no) or blistering (also, no), and said that as long as she wasn't, she didn't need to be seen or taken to the ER. He said to keep an eye on it for thirty, as blisters could begin to appear past the immediate, and said he'd call to check back in with us within the hour. Thankfully, and hopefully due to the immediate cold, she never blistered or welted, and is now free of any evidence of the accident. Just the same, I feel like the WORST mother in the entire world. How on Earth did I not know better? How did I overlook how far she'd be able to reach?????

:(

11 comments:

  1. I wish I could hug you right now! You are an absolute wonderful Momma to A. Unfortunately, these things are going to happen to all of us...no matter how incredibly careful we are. I'm so glad Ava is doing well. I'm sure it effected you way more than it did Ava. Hope your doing okay.

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  2. Don't be so hard on yourself! These things happen, no matter how prepared or cautious we are. Accidents happen and we live and learn from them. As long as Ava is ok, then you should be too. I know it's hard when your baby is hurt and you feel like you are at fault, but she's happy and healthy with no ill effects from the incident, you're a great Mom! I love reading about you and Ava because you can see what an amazing mom you are and how loved A is! Hope you're feeling better!

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  3. It's scary how big and capable they get so quickly. I can't tell you how many near-misses I've had in the past couple of weeks because I underestimated Anne's reach and mobility.

    Don't beat yourself up too much--like the others said, these things happen no matter how careful we are. We just have to learn from them and move on.

    I'm so glad Ava is OK!

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  4. I'm glad she's ok -- don't beat yourself up! Like everyone else said, these things will happen to us all. I know that doesn't make you feel better, but know that no one here is judging you or thinks you're a terrible mother!

    Give Ava an extra hug and know that she loves you no matter what! :o)

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  5. {{{Hugs}}} You are an amazing mother and Ava knows it. She loves you unconditionally and vice versa. Things happen, especially when it comes to growing babies. I've had a few near heart attacks myself in the last few weeks. She's okay and so will you be. NEVER doubt your love, care and capabilities as a mother!!! You prove how wonderful a mother you are every second of every day in the love you shower on your little girl. :-)

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  6. I agree with everyone. Unfortunatly these things will happen. Never doubt your mothering skills. You are great! Big hugs to you both!!

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  7. You are an awesome mom, no matter what, and we all do stupid things that we look back on and just go, "what was I doing?"

    I am so glad Ava is OK. Please please don't beat yourself up over this. You take WONDERFUL care of her and accidents happen.

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  8. Oh honey. First of all- let me tell you that accidents happen. No matter how attentive we are, they are still going to happen.

    When I was a nanny, the little girl I took care (who happened to be Ava's age) was sitting in a high chair, between my ex-husband and I. We were in a nice restaurant, having a great lunch. We were tickling her, and all of a sudden- as she was laughing- she went head first into the corner of the table. Blood was everywhere. I was so upset, because I never even thought about that happening. She was fine, though.

    I am so happy Miss Ava is doing so much better. Don't beat yourself up, Mama. You are a kick- ass mommy. Don't ever doubt that.

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  9. Oh Sweetie, reading this made me cry, it's impossible to be perfect all the time and thankfully your little one is okay because you did EVERYTHING right. You deserve a huge pat on the back and a big hug!

    Deb

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  10. So scary! It really brings it home because my teenage daughter is babysitting my baby niece a few days a week.

    thanks for coming over and commenting and entering my givaway. I'm following you back!

    heather

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