...me.
I have a confession. Yesterday, in my stressed out, deprived state, I ate some cookies. Half a dozen to be exact. Yes, I ate SIX cookies. In one sitting. In, like, five minutes, to be exact.
It all started at a one-year-old birthday party. Doesn't everything? ;) Anyhow, we had a great time at the party, with the exception of the dad who was so into his 12-wk. old baby it was laughable. I'm all for excited, present dads, but this guy was over-the-top, recalling with great detail his wife's labor - he may or may not have used the phrase "pushing her out" 100 times - waking the baby up (when will people learn this is a NO-NO!), and just generally being so ridiculously involved I frequently wanted to turn to D and have a good inside joke head nod...except he wasn't there :( A managed to have a great time, get tons of compliments on her party outfit, and swim with a bunch of boys twice her age and yet have a nice, neat little pile of pool toys in front of only her...
Anyhow, we had meant to leave by 5:30 to keep with our nightly routine, but we ended up staying an extra hour to partake in salmon burgers, chips and homemade salsa and delicious sangria, so when I left, homegirl was feeling a bit feisty. Seriously - when am *I* going to learn not to mess with our routine??? Seeing as I was still feeling a bit stressed from the day before and my missing money hangover, and now my baby was fussing the entire way home - I did something no dairy-free mama should do: I ate the bag of cookies sent home for D as a party favor :(
I know it was terrible. I just feel so deprived on a daily basis, unable to eat cheese or chocolate or ice cream or anything I LIKE, and I totally caved, scarfing the cookies like a child hiding sweets from their parents at fat camp. It was not my finest hour, to say the least.
As of right this minute, though, by some miracle of God, Ava has yet to be sick. It's been 20 hours, and no blowout diapers. No poo at all, actually. Could this have been the moment I've been waiting for since the dreadful day we realized her milk allergy back in March?????
On the other hand, however, mommy paid dearly. I was up half the night throwing up, and it surely wasn't from the teensy tiny glass of Sangria I had. I can hardly look at a cookie right now without wanting to hurl all over again, and slept the second half of the night with a trash can by my bed. Either I managed to get food poisoning somehow - which I doubt - or my body is rejecting dairy and punishing the hell out of me.
Better me than A, though!!!!
Man, you seriously need a break from these crazy things that keep happening to you! You've managed to go dairy-free for how long now?? You have no reason to beat yourself up for eating a few cookies when you've been so good for so long. Just think of it as a test to see if Ava is able to handle a little dairy now. I hope she continues to stay poo-free! Question: what do you mean when you say "blow-out" diaper? Is it seriously out of the diaper and horrible? Does she ever occasionally get diarrhea that isn't related to dairy? I'm asking because sometimes Jack gets diarrhea, but it's never a massive amount. I don't think it's anything to worry about, but I want to be sure!
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon. I know from last week that it's absolutely no fun taking care of a baby when you don't feel well. Mama's should be able to take sick days!
Let me one up you... I had probably a dozen cookies on Friday night, and I have no excuse other than they tasted good. Seriously, I binged. You on the other hand, completely deserved every last crumb. I hope, for your sake and Ava's, that she stays "blow out free".
ReplyDeleteYum. Cookies. I cannot imagine being dairy-free. I love everything dairy. All of the obvious things and all of the non-obvious. I salute you and your strong will. So what if you treated yourself... you deserve it !!!! I'm glad Ava is doing well... but I certainly hope you get better FAST!!!!
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