Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Ladies, I Need Your Opinion!

We'll be back with our regularly scheduled posting tomorrow. In the meantime, there is an important matter I need you ALL to weigh in on.

Here's what happened:

The night before we left, we had a big family & friend gathering at the lake to BBQ so that everyone could meet Ava (and D) before we headed back to Texas. Thee were a lot of people there, some I knew, some I didn't, and my mom got to play the role of proud grandma (who could blame her?). Anyhow, my grandma and grandpa were in attendance (of course).

Now I should tell you, anything that I ever learned about being clever and scheming and plotting, I learned from my grandmother. Well, scratch that. I may have learned a bit from my mom as well, but only because she learned it from my grandma.

About 20 minutes after their arrival, my grandma approached David and said, "I wantt o walk a lap around the lake, but they won't let me go alone. Would you mind walking with me?"

Being the oblivious family member I am, and clearly out of practice with regards to my grandma's trickster ways, I chimed in, "I'll go with you!" to which I was immediately shot down.

Somehow, and I'm still not sure how knowing the determination of this woman, D got out of it. He ended up disappearing with all the men, BBQ'ing and drinking beer away from all of us ladies, and that was that. Or so I thought.

Right as we were all getting ready to make our great escape and head home for the night, my grandma sought me out, pulling me to the side and directing my attention to an baggie in her pocket.

"Do you want this?" she asked me, eyebrows raised.

Upon inspection, I realized she was showing me a rather beautiful and sparkly wedding set.

"Do you mean figuratively, like do I want to get married ever?" I stupidly replied.

"No, I mean, do you want your great-great-great-grandma's wedding set?"

Whoa. Uh, considering I was unaware of it's existence before that second, I was caught off guard. I inspected it, growing increasingly aware of not only the sentimental value attached, but it's monetary value. Aside from the fact that I'm not a big fan of gold (though, I've since been told it's making quite the successful comeback), it's gorgeous. I mean, seriously beautiful. Not only that, but if finances were a barrier to us getting engaged, this would break down that barrier. And, it was clear that she'd been saving it for me, and for the man I deemed worthy enough to marry. In short, it's the ultimate family heirloom, and a symbol of my amazing bond with my grandmother, as well as her approval of my choice in D. Um, yes I want it. I didn't know it existed three short days ago, and now it's the only thing I want. Sigh.

Anyhow, D was onto her. I wasn't before that moment, but he was, and therefore dodging her like the plague. Long story short, she came over later that night, but he was "asleep", so she did what any good grandma up to no good would do. She slipped it into his pocket when we went to say our goodbyes the next morning, giving him a brief history of the keepsake while I took a (naive) bathroom break.

So now, D has my great-great-great grandma's ring, one that was so special it was saved for me.

So my question is: Was she out of line? Was a boundary crossed? The intent was not to put pressure on him, but rather to say, "Hey dude. You rock. We think you're good enough for the granddaughter we have wayyyyyyy up on a pedestal." It's the ultimate compliment. I'm afraid, however, he took it as the ultimate hint to hurry the hell up.

BTW - I should note. He knows I know about it, and he knows I want it in a this-wasn't-my-idea-but-you-best-take-that-ring type of way!

What do YOU think?

And PS - Is gold making a comeback???


  1. August 16, 2010 3:22PM
    Jennifer said...
    Has he said anything to you about or expressed frustration? Or is he keeping quiet because he doesn't want the subject to come up between the two of you? Honestly, I think grandmas have a special leeway when it comes to what they do. If your mom or best friend had done this, I'd say it was a little over the line. Grandma is a whole other ball of wax. She's special and what she did can probably be taken one of two ways... as an amusing but very sweet gesture that is taken to heart and saved for a special future date... or as an eye roll with the thought, "Crap, what do I do with this and how do I avoid a confrontation about it if I don't acknowledge it..." In my opinion, your significant other shouldn't take offense or take it as a pressure point. Your grandma meant well, plus... it's a FAMILY HEIRLOOM. Come on! :-) You should probably just sit down with him and have a matter-of-fact conversation about it. Don't ignore it like it's taboo because eventually you will begin to resent him for not at least acknowledging the gift. Good luck.

    August 16, 2010 10:41 AM
    Katie Jeans Jewelry said...
    I say you should keep it but tell him when the time is right he will not have to purchase you a ring that you want to use this one. I think you should keep it in your safe deposit box so as not to get lost or stolen.

    New follower and advice giver.


    August 16, 2010 10:49 AM
    Butterbean said...
    All I have to say is, grams is sneaky!! You know my opinion on the rest!

    August 16, 2010 11:39 AM
    aleelavine said...
    Hmm, that's a toughie. I would say Grandma just wants you to have the heirloom so I wouldn't feel like she overstepped any boundaries. I would maybe just make sure D knows there is no actual pressure... but when and if the time arises, you have the ring which is actually a lot of pressure there taken off!!!

    August 16, 2010 1:36 PM
    Michelle@DomesticationoftheSingleGirl said...

    Actually, that's not TOO bad.

    You want it? You love it? It's meant to be yours and loaded with history? Awesome.

    It's a family heirloom and those situations are tough, especially since you guys don't get to see that part of the family a lot. So if that was meant to be yours he would have to get it SOMEDAY. That someday would preferably be BEFORE he got you a different ring with it's own story and pricetag, so that would mean BEFORE engagement. Not saying there is or isn't one, but sometimes a little prep-work is needed. That's the way I'd break it down to my man. He can always see the practical side of things...not sure if that's a guy thing or just him.

    I think I love your grandma.

  2. Hi. I'm a new reader. Found you on Bloggy Moms (and I grabbed your buttono and follow you on Twitter).

    I was unexpectedly expecting. We now have baby #2. Still not married. We got engaged one month before baby #2 arrived. So I sort of get where you are...

    As far as the rings go, I wouldn't stress about it. They are family heirlooms that were saved for you and Grandma was just passing them along. That's all.

    I think it's a situation to laugh about. Might help eliminate the uncomfortable factor.


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