Motherhood. The most complex, beautiful, challenging, rewarding, snd unequivocal set of emotions in the world. From the second Ava was born, my life has revolved around her. She is my new reason for being; her presence in my life makes everything that has happened before make sense, and takes away any fear I may have had about my own future. As long as I am her mother, that's all I need (Her future and survival, however, is a source of my constant worry).
Today, however, motherhood is kicking my ass. Some days the vacuuming gets done, the dishes washed, the laundry put away within 24 hours of being dried (as opposed to the four days that's become the norm). Some days I leave the house feeling fantastic and looking like my previous self in full makeup and blown out hair. Some days I manage to pump two full bottles worth (shout out to my lactation consultant on that one!). This is not one of those days.
Today, I didn't get a chance to put on makeup, or shave my legs. I didn't empty the dishwasher like I had meant to, or fold the laundry. My first meal was twenty minutes ago before I started nursing, and consisted of a handful of cashews.
What I did do today, however, is comfort and cuddle my very tired and seemingly in pain daughter. I read to her, I nurtured her with my own body, I cooed with her until she smiled at me. To me, today was still a productive day :)