Monday, June 29, 2009


I am NOT one of those women who feel that 'natural childbirth' should be a priority for a woman. See that happy, smiling woman above, not screaming at her husband? Neither does she! (Note: I'm not delusional enough to think I'll be smiling my way through labor, don't worry!) Not only do I have zero to prove to the doctor or my family or anyone that may be privy to the details of my labor, but plain and simple: I think women who advocate for natural childbirth are plum crazy!

Do they realize where the push for having 'natural' births came from? ClergyMEN in the 1800's felt that because of the line from the Old Testament, "In Sorrow Thou Shalt Bring Forth Children", that is was God's divine will that women suffer through giving birth. Talk about bullshit! So for all these self-proclaimed feminist women making every attempt to guilt-trip other women into natural births, realize that your belief is steeped in sexism and the same type of notions that gave way to burning women at the stake. Enough said.

Not to mention, I'd like to have at least a chance in hell at looking back and saying, "I wouldn't mind doing THAT again." After all, I'd like to have a second child some day (although ask me again in late January!). If an epidural is what it takes, big f'ing deal, folks. Why should labor be unbearably painful if there IS another way? It shouldn't be. Anyone going the natural route - you're nuts. Would you have your appendix removed without being anesthetized? No? Why not? What about if you were passing a kidney stone, and the doctor offered you medication to ease your pain? Would you feel you were less of a woman to accept it? If so, you're apparently just a stupid woman. That shit hurts! Allow your birth to be more enjoyable by spending less time screaming at the top of your lungs, and more time managing your pain so that you can focus on what's really important: you're about to meet your baby!

My doc is already well aware of my desire for an epidural. During my first internal exam I was surprisingly uncomfortable and took that opportunity to let him know in no uncertain terms that I had NOTHING to prove other than my intelligence and interest in pain-management techniques of the drug variety. There will be no visualization and meditation at MY labor. Even so, I remind him at EVERY. SINGLE. VISIT. Something tells me he'll know when the times comes though. Something about screaming, "Get me a g$#d#$& epidural RIGHT NOW" may tip him off!

Happy Monday, everyone! If all goes well, I'll be induced 26 weeks from today. AKA forever from now :(

1 comment:

  1. Yes they are a godsend...especially when your induction goes WAY SOUTH.

    When I get time I'll send a real e-mail.


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