Monday, March 15, 2010

Heart Attack.

The scariest thing that has ever happened to me happened last night.

Ava has taken to sleeping 7-7.5 hours. This is doing wonders for mommy's mood and ability to function. It has led, though, to some renewed worrying about whether or not she's breathing/alive/okay, which translates into nightly terrifying dreams where things happen to her. More on that later.

Anyhow, last night Ava's monitor went off, something that has never, ever happened unless we accidentally forgot to switch it off before taking her out of her bassinet. I immediately went flying out of bed from a deep, deep sleep mid-dream, convinced that this was it: my baby girl would no longer be breathing. Thankfully - oh so very, very thankfully God - she was fine, and had just squirmed to a corner where the sensor couldn't pick up her movements. I would be lying if I said I didn't reposition her, reset her monitor and then climb back into bed to cry big, heaving sobs of both fear and relief.

I am so thankful for every day, every hour, every second with her. I am thankful for her monitor and to know beyond doubt that it works, and could potentially save her life if she happened to stop breathing. I just pray that this is the closest we ever have to come to using it in that way.


  1. Isn't it funny? When your child is just a few days/weeks old, you pray that they sleep through the night. Then once they do, you worry because you can't check up on them as easily! It's a catch-22.

    I'm just happy for you and for Ava that it was a false alarm.

    Confessions From A Working Mom

  2. Wow, this is really scary! It is definitely good that you know the monitor works and that you will wake up so easily. I definitely sleep a lot less soundly these days! I constantly check Jack's breathing while he's napping. My coworker said he still checks to make sure his 3 1/2 year old is breathing! I guess it's all a part of parenting!

  3. The first time Marianne slept through the night both J and I woke up at 5 AM and went, OMG, why isn't the baby crying?

    So we both rush into the room and there she is...sound asleep. Snoring, even, whilst hugging her giraffe and looking comfy. So we smile, sigh, and tiptoe off to let her sleep.

    But I still check her a few times a night...even if I'm down watching TV and the monitor's there I sneak upstairs during a commercial to check on her.

    It's the way things are...all parents worry about their babies...I never got a monitor for Marianne, but I still check. Don't dwell on it...the baby girls of our family tree are universally healthy, strong and willful. :)


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