The scariest thing that has ever happened to me happened last night.
Ava has taken to sleeping 7-7.5 hours. This is doing wonders for mommy's mood and ability to function. It has led, though, to some renewed worrying about whether or not she's breathing/alive/okay, which translates into nightly terrifying dreams where things happen to her. More on that later.
Anyhow, last night Ava's monitor went off, something that has never, ever happened unless we accidentally forgot to switch it off before taking her out of her bassinet. I immediately went flying out of bed from a deep, deep sleep mid-dream, convinced that this was it: my baby girl would no longer be breathing. Thankfully - oh so very, very thankfully God - she was fine, and had just squirmed to a corner where the sensor couldn't pick up her movements. I would be lying if I said I didn't reposition her, reset her monitor and then climb back into bed to cry big, heaving sobs of both fear and relief.
I am so thankful for every day, every hour, every second with her. I am thankful for her monitor and to know beyond doubt that it works, and could potentially save her life if she happened to stop breathing. I just pray that this is the closest we ever have to come to using it in that way.