Pictures!

Not sure if it will last, but for the time being my computer is up and running, and so I shall take full advantage of this opportunity and upload some real pictures!

Here she is...

...wearing the most baller baby shoes of all time:


...ready for her first trip to church today:

(Yes, her clothes are huge. She's not quite in the 0-3 month sizes yet, but newborn sizes are too short because she's pretty tall.)

...cute as a button:


...snuggling with her daddy:


...playing with her favorite bunny:


...visiting with grandparents (his, then my mom):




...having tummy time:


...awake:




...and asleep:




...reading with mommy:


...tired from our walk:


More to come tomorrow if my laptop permits!

Sleep, Sweet Sleep.

Two nights in a row Ava has gone over 4 hours between feedings, giving me a solid 3.5 hours of sleep straight. Even better, D gave her a 6am bottle, letting me sleep from 3AM to 8:15. What what!

Bliss.

In My Daughter's Eyes.

This is such a beautiful song by Martina McBride. I just had to share :)

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

One Month.

Motherhood. The most complex, beautiful, challenging, rewarding, snd unequivocal set of emotions in the world. From the second Ava was born, my life has revolved around her. She is my new reason for being; her presence in my life makes everything that has happened before make sense, and takes away any fear I may have had about my own future. As long as I am her mother, that's all I need (Her future and survival, however, is a source of my constant worry).

Today, however, motherhood is kicking my ass. Some days the vacuuming gets done, the dishes washed, the laundry put away within 24 hours of being dried (as opposed to the four days that's become the norm). Some days I leave the house feeling fantastic and looking like my previous self in full makeup and blown out hair. Some days I manage to pump two full bottles worth (shout out to my lactation consultant on that one!). This is not one of those days.

Today, I didn't get a chance to put on makeup, or shave my legs. I didn't empty the dishwasher like I had meant to, or fold the laundry. My first meal was twenty minutes ago before I started nursing, and consisted of a handful of cashews.

What I did do today, however, is comfort and cuddle my very tired and seemingly in pain daughter. I read to her, I nurtured her with my own body, I cooed with her until she smiled at me. To me, today was still a productive day :)

Picture Update (FINALLY!)

Don't get too excited - my computer still has a virus :( For now, though, here are some mobile uploads to tide you all over!











(I wasn't quick enough to catch it very well, but here's the tail end of a smile!)

Why A Mother Should Always Trust Her Instincts.

I went to HEB this morning, finally having my act together enough to fill Ava's prescription. I still don't think it's full-blown reflux, but I figured we could fill it just in case we need it, so that if she seems to be in pain, we're armed and ready to fix it. When I dropped if off at the counter, the pharmacist asked me to hold on while she looked something up. As it turns out, the pediatrician who I've seriously started to doubt and be irritated with due to her harried nature and inattention to my concerns and opinions? She wrote out a dose approriate for an adult, as opposed to an INFANT. Are. You. Kidding. Me. Thank God the pharmacist was paying attention, since Dr K clearly was not. This makes me very angry.

To add insult to injury, when looking into the whole sleeping in her carrier issue, almost everyone warns against it due to the potential for her airway being constricted. Ava's reflux, if she even has it, isn't nearly severe enough to warrant taking that risk. Even if it were severe, I would much prefer to get a wedge to place under her mattress than resort to a risky technique.
On a positive note, I've had an extremely productive day, not least of which includes having found a new pediatrician for little A! Needless to say, the three strikes you're out statute applies to pediatricians, and I need someone I can trust, both to give me good medical and parenting advice, and to not ignore my questions and concerns. After reviewing my insurances preferred providers and their respective reviews, both online and through parents I know, we'll now be taking Ava to Dr. Halden. He's of...ahem, advanced age (in his 80's!)...but has been voted one of the best pediatricians in Texas and everyone seems to love him! I even know a woman who was given his home number by his nurse for her childs after hours nurse - I can assure you Dr K wouldn't do that.

If It's Not One Thing...

...then it's sure to be another breastfeeding catastrophe.

I am about 99% sure that baby and I have thrush. She is showing 0 signs of it, but I am in so much pain that sometimes I tear up when she latches on. The pain lingers well after feedings as well, hanging around enough to make me dread her next feeding. Seeing as how I've become 100% committed to breastfeeding at least for 6 months, I am suffering through until I can get treated. It's a small price to pay to be able to offer Ava food that is not only nutritionally perfect for her, but also protective against everything from obesity to SIDS to teenage pregnancy (ok, so that last one is BS, but you get the picture!) My mom suggested I pick up some gentian violet tincture, as it can effectively knock thrush out in most women, and far more quickly (and cheaply!) than a doctor's visit and 14-21 days of meds. Just a suggestion for those of you suffering right along with me! Just a word of warning, though: it stains like crazy, so watch out!

Alright - off to shower so we can go pick that up on our way to (finally) get Ava's stroller! Today is going to be so much better than yesterday!

4 Weeks = Big Day!

Lots of big events today! First things first, I am officially going back to work today. In fact, one hour and counting until I have to pick up S from preschool. I'm actually quite excited to see the girls and show off Ava!

Next up? Ava's 1-month appointment. Before I get into the details, allow me a little ventfest. I was kept waiting for over an HOUR for a 10-minute appointment where I felt my doctor was not only inattentive, but slightly condescending. WTF. Ok, done venting. Anyhow, Ava weighs in at a pound above her birthweight - 8lbs, 12oz! Yay! Way to grow, Ava! I also brought up my reflux concerns, and the nurse gave me a questionnaire about reflux where you answer questions and your responses are assigned values - up to 25 total. Anything under 7 is unlikely to be reflux. Ava scored a 7, which made me question my assumptions, though Dr K, seeming to want to make a quick exit, threw a prescription for prilosec at us without batting an eyelash. I am not one to want to just pump my kiddo full of medicine unless absolutely necessary, so I'm feeling a bit unsure about the prilosec. I think ill give it a trial run and see if a.) it has any side effects that could be worse than mild reflux, and b.)if it helps, in which case that's great. She also suggested that since she had the gasping incidences where it seemed as though she was choking that we sleep her in her car seat. I couldve swore I read that was unsafe, so I plan to investigate more before I take her up on that. I know your doctor's advice should supercede what you read elsewhere, but I'm not sure I trust Dr. K's opinion completely. In fact, after her first visit telling me I didn't need to come back until 2 months and then having Ava's lack of weight gain go undetected until I got concerned and made an appt with the lactation consultant, and now today, I may consider switching to another doctor. Is that unreasonable?

Alright - I need to finish up A's meal and head to get the girlies. Happy Monday everyone!

Bluuue Moooon.

Wait just a second. This isn't a post about the greatness that is the song Blue Moon (though it is great). No, friends, this is a post dedicated to something even better: one of my favorite beers, Blue Moon.

I have continued to abstain from alcohol since Ava's birth because of both her erratic nursing schedule and my refusal to pump and dump. I'm sorry, but breastmilk is a precious commodity around here, moreso than gold or chocolate, and I'll be damned if I throw even a drop out.

That being said, the opportunity presented itself for me to have a beer, since little A had just nursed and I had just pumped, and I can say with complete conviction that that was the BEST damn beer I've ever had. Cheers!

Smile!

Ava smiles! It happened for the first time on Thursday, 1/21, while I had her on my lap and was talking\cooing at her, but knowing that's it's early yet for a social smile, I assumed that maybe she had some internal yummy turmoil that I couldn't hear. Then, the next day, she did it again in the same situation. TWICE!

D hadn't had a chance to see it, and seemed pretty skeptical when I told him about it, so yesterday morning when she woke up I put her in bed with us to snuggle, and started talking to her while I had her attention, and though brief this time, she did it! Too bad D had shut his eyes! We'll try yet again I suppose when she's done nursing, but I am 100% confident saying that Ava has smiled her first (several) of many, many smiles to come!

Ode to D

A couple of weeks before Ava was born, D mentioned to me that he had never held a baby. Whaaaaat?! I guess it shouldn't have come as a huge shock, considering men don't exactly spring at the chance to hold other people's babies, but still, I was slightly in awe.

Flash forward to the current, and D has held our baby day and night since her arrival. He changes diapers like a pro, and feeds her the bottle a day the pediatrician suggested we introduce since I'm heading back to work so soon like he's been doing it his whole life. I've worked in a lot of households and observed a lot of fathers, and never have I seen one more actively involved with his newborn. He absolutely adores her, and for that, I can honestly say I have never loved him more.

We've never been one of those couples that put on embarassing public displays of affection, or that play the, "No, I love YOU more" game while on the phone. We're a little more low-key than all that, and besides, isn't the affection and love implied? But since Ava was born, D really stepped up to the plate (especially when I couldn't get out of bed initially), and for that, and for giving me this amazing little mini-us, I just want to shout my love for him from the rooftops. I have heard that having a baby can really challenge a marriage/relationship, but so far, all I have found is that I am in complete and utter awe of how he has settled into his new role as father, and how wonderfully loving and helpful he has been in the process.

So here it is, my version of shouting my love from the rooftops: I thought it impossible, but everytime I see you with our daughter, I can honestly say I have never loved you more, and that feeling continues to grow daily. Thank you for this amazing blessing, and for going on this journey with me!

Reflux?

I am starting to suspect that Ava is experiencing reflux.
She has started to spit up frequently, sometimes directly after eating (in which case it's just like regular liquid-y baby spit up), and sometimes hours later (in which case it is thicker with what seems like teeny chunks of curdled milk). From what I have read, the latter is milk that has been sitting in her stomach and started the digestion process. Poor thing!

We have an appointment scheduled for a 4-week well check & weigh-in on Monday, but I may see if we can bump it up to tomorrow. I have noticed she is slightly fussy before and after the spit up, and have even seen her appear to be gasping for air a couple of times (talk about scaring me to death!) before spitting, so I figure the sooner we address it, the better.

Anyone else having reflux or spit-up issues?

Where Am I?

Earlier this week, I was watching Ellen (welcome to what I do while on maternity leave and nursing Ava through a growth spurt!) and she was comparing animal and human intelligence. She was saying that dolphins can find their way to each other from such and such a distance, while humans frequently ask themselves, 'Why did I walk into the kitchen again?!' And now this brings me to my "new life"....

I, for the life of me, cannot keep things straight. My to do list frequently includes such items as 'find previous to-do list' and 'shave left leg since you forgot this morning after you shaved the right'. I consider myself a very organized person, but while at both Target and Walmart (ick!) today, I muttered things like, 'Why is mommy at Walmart?' and, 'What did we need at Target (besides a latte!)?' And yes, I chat with my baby. All day long. Do I look like a nut while strolling down the street talking to the baby about the unseasonably warm weather and how no one will ever replace Bob Barker, least of which Drew Carey (again, what I do on my maternity leave...)? Yes. Am I also fostering early language development and an increased vocabulary? Heck yeah. Totally worth it.

Anyhow...wait, what was I saying again? :)

First Solo Outing!

Yesterday was my first solo outing with Ava. I took this extra week off knowing that I wouldn't want to have my first solo outing coincide with my first day of work, so I decided it was time to brave leaving her in the backseat by herself, and get back behind the wheel.

First stop - weight check with the lactation consultant. All the steps I have taken to increase my milk supply must be working, since little A is up to 8lbs, 8ozs. Score! This makes me so happy! Especially given that if she hadn't gained weight still by yesterday, I wouldve had to start supplementing with formula, which I really didn't want to do. Yay success! That makes all the pumping and supplements entirely worthwhile.

After that we met D for pizza rolls at Doubledave's, through which little miss Ava slept the entire time! She had no clue we had lunch with dad.

Then came the best decision I have made for my sanity as a mother: I picked up the Bebesounds Angelcare sound and movement monitor. This thing is amazing! While I wouldve said it was entirely over the top before Ava was born, knowing how much sleep I lose watching and waking up to check if she's breathing, I am now 100% behind this monitor. How it works is you place the movement sensor pad under the mattress and then set the handset units up just like you would a normal monitor, connecting the movement sensor to the nursery handset. The sensor is sensitive enough to detect the rise and fall of baby's chest, as well as his/her larger movements of course, and if at anytime it goes 20 seconds without sensing movement, an alarm goes off, prompting both the baby to move/breathe, and the parents to wake up to check on and possibly take revival efforts for baby. It literally saves lives. Best money I have ever spent.

Despite this new monitor, I slept like utter crap last night. Ava was on a sleep strike, and didn't fall asleep and STAY asleep until 2:45. Holy crapballs. That being said, I'm exhausted. Back to bed!

Ava's Newborn Pics!

May I present to you...

What I've Learned in the Past Three Weeks.

That as much as I thought I knew about love, I knew nothing about the love you can feel for your children.

That even though I swore I wouldn't be a nervous new mother, I still stay up staring at her while she sleeps to make sure she's breathing, and say a prayer every night for God to keep her safe and breathing through the night.

In fact, many things I said I wouldn't do, I've done. She sleeps in our room, though at least not in our bed. I have yet to be anywhere without her and have no intention of leaving her side anytime soon. There are so many other things, far too many to specifically name.

I enjoy breastfeeding far more than I could have imagined. It relaxes me while nourishing her. How awesome is that. It also doesn't hurt that it's free - no complaints there!

That I could worry so much about everything going into and coming out of her tiny little body, and what those things mean for her weight gain. I never imagined I could care more about someone elses weight than my own!

Speaking of, I've learned that I will be able to regain my body. Big relief there!

That baby poo, farts and burps are FAR more adorable than their grown-up counterparts!

That baby noises are the cutest sounds on Earth!

That even though I worry nonstop about countless things, I feel more confident than ever that I already am, and will continue to be, a good mother, and that's all that matters, isn't it?

Happy three week birthday, Ava!

Growth Spurt.

First off, my laptop is still down. Wiping it is going to take time and energy I can't seem to find, but I will work on it this week. Then I can start posting pics again. Until then, I'm still blogging on my phone. This does have an advantage, though, seeing as how I can blog while she nurses, since it's mainly like composing a seriously long text, and I am a texting champion!

Anyhow, Ava appears to be going through a growth spurt. How do I know? Let's see - she ate at 9:15, 11:30, 12:30, 2:30 and now 4:30. This makes for one very tired mommy, seeing as how I never get to bed before 1AM because little A is a little night owl. I'm going to be seriously dragging ass tomorrow. Luckily D has a three-day weekend and I can take a nap with a little luck!

The upside to her constant hunger is it's aiding in rebuilding my milk supply, and also, with a little luck, she'll start gaining weight again, since I have been seriously worried about her lack of weight gain in the past almost two weeks. We're having her checked again Tuesday. We're also having my thyroid checked since that's an easy answer to my breastfeeding issues, and has an easy fix.

Ill be posting Ava's newborn pictures either later today or tomorrow, since I was able to get them on D's computer for the time being - they turned out great! Stay tuned!

Starting The Countdown Over...

Decision made. I think I shall go back to work next week instead. Bills schmills.

Good News, Bad News.

The good news: Today I got to take a 2.5 hour nap in between nursing/pumping sessions. Praise God! I feel better already!

The bad news: During my nap I had a dream that there was a teeny tiny golden retriever that was completely dependent on me to provide milk for it. In order to do so, I had to pump every hour on the hour until I got at least an ounce, which these days is taking forever! Clearly the nursing and pumping schedule my lactation consultant 'prescribed' for us is starting to get to me.

I guess the additional good news is that in the end, I saved the puppy. Please let this be a sign my milk will become abundant again!

So Much For That Idea!

I did NOT get the aforementioned 5-6 hour stretch of sleep. Damn it.

When I woke up to feed A around 3:15, D announced he had a terrible stomachache from the massive load of meat just sitting in his stomach, something I saw coming as soon as he pulled out the sandwich he had picked up from Jason's Deli for dinner (we're - and by that I mean I'm - still not cooking around here). He was still feeling bad when I wrapped up feeding her, so I stayed awake while she cooed and grunted through her sleep to make sure she actually went back to sleep, making for a long stretch of awake time. Hello, 4-something AM!

I fell back asleep though feeling only slightly resentful, knowing I would be able to sleep through to the 9-9:30ish feeding! Hallelujah! NOT. I was awoken at 6:15am, with D saying the bottle warmer was not working and heating her bottle. I was trying to explain how to a.) either use an alternate method, like submerging it in hot water, or b.)troubleshoot what was going wrong with the bottlewarmer when I realized two things: 1. I come across as quite condescending rather than helpfully informative when sleep-deprived, and 2. It would be easier at this point to just feed her myself, especially given I was already awake. Such is life.

I think ill try to give him a thorough lesson on bottles and the bottle warmer today during the day. Nobody can expect to go it alone in the middle of the night, I suppose :)

The Time Has Come.

That's right, folks! Today was my first day alone with Ava. I've been very fortunate in that D has been able to take time off to be home with us, and for the couple days he wasn't able to miss, my mother was here, which is how 18 days have passed and just now have I had a day alone with my sweet little baby girl.

The day was actually quite a success. I managed to shower, do my hair, fold a load of laundry and eat all before noon. That's not too bad, eh? I considered vacuuming, but I am actually harboring a bit of a cold and feel like complete crap, so I vetoed that idea.

Ava's been a champ today, making everything easier on me. She's nursed well, managed to allow me time to pump after each feeding, and hasn't pooed through any clothing or towels. Miracle!

I also managed to watch an entire disc of Everwood. Laugh if you must, but D and I pick TV shows to watch from beginning to end on DVD, and needless to say, this is one he doesn't feel he's missing out on while at work.

Happy Friday, everyone!

A Visit to the Lactation Consultant.

Yesterday when I went to pump, I was able to get significantly less than before (not even an ounce per). Then, when I attempted to express some milk with my hand, that wasn't working almost at all. Hmmm... Seeing as how I really, really want to breatfeed Ava for as long as possible (and clearly by that I do NOT mean that I plan to have a toddler attached to my boobs, thank you very much, but I would like to get to 6 months and then go from there), I did what any new mom would do. I freaked out and called my mother.

While my mom didn't seem all that concerned, telling me to up my fluids and see if that helped, I remained frantic this morning, thinking that, despite Ava's knack for nursing, my milk might be drying up. Enter the lactation consultant.

I am very fortunate in that Ava's pediatrician's office has one on staff, and two others that fill in for her as needed, so help was easy to get. She asked me a series of questions, and then I set an appointment to come in for a consult at 3PM.

When I got there, she weighed Ava, saying that per her eight pound weight at her 1-week visit 9 days ago, she should now be at 8lbs, 9oz. Unfortunately, Ava was still at an even 8lbs, throwing me into major freakout mode! Was she going hungry?! Oh no! The LC (who was totally awesome btw) then had me feed her, 10 minutes per breast, and then weighed her after each. She took in 2.6 ozs! Based on her weight and on 8 feedings per day, the LC told us she should be taking in 2.7 ozs per feeding, so my milk supply was meeting her needs. We're not sure why she hadn't gained weight, but ill take her back in a week to check and see how she's doing.

In the meantime, I'm starting on More Milk Special Blend, an herbal blend with Fenugreek, goats rue and other herbs that help to increase milk supply, and have been instructed to pump for 10 minutes after each daytime feeding.
Here's hoping it works!

2 Weeks!

As of yesterday(it's officially after midnight), Ava is two weeks old! Good Lord, time passes quickly!

It was my two-week post op visit, and Dr R removed my steri-strips, leaving nothing on my incision. It. Looks. Great. I was shocked by how well it healed and how very unobtrusive it already is! Yay! While my incision no longer hurts, my abdomen is still quite tender, thanks to the internal incision and stitching. He said it would take a while for those to fully absorb, so I guess it's to be expected. I've also lost somewhere in the ballpark of 21-22lbs. Yay! It seems to be slowing, though, which has me worried. Time to start watching my intake, I suppose.

Ava is currently nursing, hence why I'm up blogging at 12:45am, and she's still a champ! Not sure her weight now since we aren't seeing her ped again for a couple weeks, but I know she's growing and gaining well :)

Ok - she's finished so I am too. Nighty night!

Oh Boy...

D has the flu, just in time for it to coincide with my mom leaving.

I guess I am officially fully recovered (whether I feel that way or not)!

Thankfully Ava slept from 10PM to nearly 8AM, only waking to eat twice. No bedtime fight last night!

She also had her first bath, having lost her umbilical cord Friday!

Pics to come soon. Apparently I blew the Ram on my computer. How? No clue. Oh well, at least I have my beautiful sleeping daughter to curl up with!

Oh Sleep, How I Miss Thee...

In her defense, Ava is a champion sleeper. With the exception of when we initially put her down for the night. She just won't go to sleep.

Part of it is that she sleeps a lot during the day - so we've been trying our best to wake her up during the day. It's nearly impossible, but we've come up with some creative strategies at this point.

I thought perhaps our room is too quiet, since she sleeps like a baby out in the living room all day, so we tried her noise machine and her seahorse glowworm, but no dice. It may work for a bit, but she won't stay asleep.

We've now adjusted several different variables, but still, it can take hours before she'll go to sleep at night. And so I ask this: What is your bedtime routine like and does it work for you? I'm desperately needing suggestions. I try to make sure she consistently gets full feedings rather than 'snacks' so that she needs to eat less often and will sleep for longer periods, but still, nothing. And then once she gets to sleep, she'll generally only wake to nurse and then go back to sleep, which at least is something, right?

All advice and input appreciated!

My Little Pee-er!

For having a little girl, I get peed on ALL THE TIME. I mean, technically the first thing she did when they pulled her out was pee all over, and then poo. Cute!

Since then, I've been peed upon at least four times, as has D. It's her first response to any temperature change (aka changing her diaper) and when she does it, it's like a fountain. No joke!

I've managed to make changing a diaper just in time to see the swaddlers strip turn from yellow to blue (isn't that an awesome feature?!?)into an art form!

More pics to come soon - my computer currently has a virus so I've had to use my BlackBerry instead.

Sidebar Error.

Just an FYI - ever since my blog went private, it no longer updates on other blogs aidebars! It shows my last post being a month ago when I went to L&D with gallstones, so if you're following along, definitely check back often as I plan to post frequently still.

That being said, tonight I'm exhausted, and just waiting for Ava to finish nursing so I can pass out! Nighty night!

Adventures in Breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding, while amazingly rewarding (not only is Ava thriving, but I've lost 21lbs!), brings with it some, um, shall we say interesting situations.

Take for example yesterday. I was really tired when feeding Ava, and as soon as she was safely laid down, closed my eyes before I even had the chance to put my breast pad back in. Big. Mistake. I didn't realize what I had done until the next feeding, when I went to remove the breast pad and discovered the adhesive had sealed shut to my poor unsuspecting nipple. Ouch.

The day before that, though, was far worse. Ava has mastered the art of chugging, which makes for quick feedings, but also the occasional mishap. Apparently little A took a bit too much in, and subsequently coughed to clear her throat, spitting breastmilk ALL OVER ME. Everyone keeps asking me if I plan to taste my milk, to which I always look horrified and say, 'what the f is wrong with you?!', but turns out Ava had other plans for her mommy :P

Happy One Week Birthday, Ava!

Wow, time flies.

This has been such an amazing first week. There has been a flurry of emotions running wild, but I can say with certainty that despite the depression, this week has been overwhelmingly positive and joyful. I've seen the fulfillment of a lifelong dream after all - I am a mother, I have a daughter, the three of us are a family. Is there anything more than that?!

Ava had her first pediatrician appointment this afternoon. She has already regained and surpassed her birthweight, weighing in at a whopping 8lbs!!! Holy moly. On top of that, she's measuring 21 inches! Is it possible to grow TWO INCHES in one week?!? I know a lot about babies, and that just seems impossible to me! The pediatrician gave her a glowing review, saying that she's absolutely thriving. She also went ahead and did her follow-up heel stick, since at one week you can technically do it, and said she would be comfortable not seeing us again until Ava is one month, since the main concern at their two-week visit is that they regain their birth weight, and little A has no trouble there! Not sure how I feel about that, since it seems half the point of ped appts is for mom to ask questions, but we'll see. I can always call in if I need to know anything.

We also talked about my depression, and she said that the medication they put me on is perfectly fine for breastfed babies, and is the frontline med for PPD. She said to call anytime though if I feel I need more help. It was reassuring.

Ok, Ava's asleep, so I should hit the hay also. Happy one-week birthday, Ava! We adore you.

Baby's First Christmas & Other News.

Happy New Year, everyone! Sorry for the hiatus...something about having a baby and all that jazz...



Lots to report. First off, Ava's first outing was Friday, when we took her up to the hospital for a weight and jaundice check. She's back up at 7lbs, 9oz, having regained 5 ozs. since leaving the hospital and being a measly 3 from her birthweight...we rock! Also, her billirubin levels were borderline, but since she's eating and pooing like a champion, they felt comfortable leaving it alone and having her pediatrician check it at our first appointment tomorrow. Whew.

After that, we returned home just in time for her first grandparent visit, with D's dad, Grandpa Don, coming into town for Friday and Saturday. We then went to lunch and hit up Babies R Us for a few things we found we could use (lanolin cream, burp cloths & another swaddling blanket, to be exact) and then headed home, where mommy promptly passed out. We also stopped by the pharmacy to pick up the prescription my doctor called in a couple weeks back. Postpartum depression has hit full force, though after just a few days on the meds it's starting to lighten up a bit. More on that another time. Right now I'm trying to enjoy my daughter. All I can say is that if you think you might be showing signs of it, CALL YOUR DOCTOR. There is no shame in seeking treatment for this potentially very serious condition. If you don't want to call your doctor, email me. Sometimes it's just nice to know others have been there too. Trust me - trying to explain sadness in such a time of joy is difficult. Luckily, D is fantastic, and was prepared for this. My physical recovery is going slowly, though I am completely off my painkillers. I think they were contributing to my depression, so I've decided to go without. It's a tough decision some hours of the day, but I'm trying to control it with ibuprofen and the hope that this too shall pass.



Our next first was Baby's first (belated) Christmas! Though we'll celebrate baby's first Christmas next year, this year Santa came by the house in anticipation of her arrival, so she had some great presents to open :) It was awesome! She got the Madeline book set, the Eloise book set, a snuggly seahorse glowworm, a play telephone and a doll. Ava was a very good girl this year :)





And on a fantastically positive note, I've lost 18 lbs!!!!!!!!! Yep...you read that right. 18 POUNDS! 8 of them in the past 48 hours after getting up and walking got that fluid circulating and eliminating. Sweeeeeeeeet! I feel hopeful.

Last Sunday:


Today:


Ok, off to nurse soon. Last night she slept from midnight to 8am, waking only at 4am to nurse, and has stuck to a four-hour schedule nearly like clockwork since. I wish I was delusional enough to think this would last forever!!!