I could just scream. And not the happy, excited kind. The are you freaking kidding me?!? kind.
Doctor's appointment went both good and bad. While it feels overwhelmingly bad, the good news is that my incessant water-drinking did in fact help me to shed 4 of the 6 lbs I gained last week, bringing my net gain to 2lbs over the past two weeks...ding ding ding. Back on track. That's a relief. I'm now at 26lbs. Whatever, I'll take it.
On another positive note(?), my abdominal ultrasound did not show gallstones. The negative there is that I experienced another bout of pain on Saturday night (though not as bad) and now we have no idea why....super duper. Maybe it'll just naturally go away as my internal organs return to their previous locations? Let's hope.
Also, I reclaimed my centimeter! I am dilated to 1cm, and still 80% effaced. Obnoxious. Better than nothing, but when I said, "So we can still have this baby in two weeks, right?!" I was met with a big, FAT maybe. Make up your damn mind, doc. Which is it? Do you just need me to come completely unglued in front of you all over again? Because considering I start most every appointment lately with an I will not cry at this appointment mantra, I'm pretty certain it can be arranged. Either way, D will be going to my visit next week with me for support.
What really gets me is that he seems totally willing to schedule a c-section, but is weary of the induction. Um, isn't that kind of backwards? Isn't a doctor weary of inductions due to their ability to lead increasingly to c-sections? And if so, shouldn't we at least try the induction route first?!?! I mean, I'm not the doctor here, but it doesn't take advanced medical training to see how that's not logical. And as any sane first-time mother would feel, I don't WANT to have a c-section. It's actually a total nightmare, and much more difficult recovery. But I feel like my options are these:
A.) Schedule an elective c-section so baby arrives on 12/28 and I won't spend my one week of paid maternity leave sitting around trying to will her out, and then have to return to work when she is two weeks old after having taken the two weeks off I can afford to unpaid, OR
B.) Spend my one week of paid leave (I can't change the dates because the D's are going on a trip and that coincides with my paid time off - already tried that) still pregnant, praying baby at least comes by her due date, and returning to work when baby is two weeks old, with D going back to work on her due date (his leave coincides with University leave due to Christmas break) aka while I'm in labor/delivery/recovering at first, and being out several thousand dollars in 2010 insurance expenses.
Can you see why I'm at my wits end?
Why can't this be an option:
C.) Attempt an induction on 12/28, wait it out and if absolutely necessary, then opt for a c-section, giving me an additional week of recovery time and bonding time with Baby B before I return to work, and giving D an entire week to adjust to our new family of three before he returns to work.
Isn't that clearly the best option?!?! Especially given that my doctor mentioned that women that have had cervical surgery frequently can't dilate on their own....which, to me, means I'll need to be induced anyhow?!?! WTF. I'm super pissed.
Not to mention, the first three exams I had weren't bad by any means, but today's hurt like hell, and at the risk of TMI, I'm bleeding pretty significantly from it.
I HATE BEING PREGNANT.