Monday, December 14, 2009

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

I could just scream. And not the happy, excited kind. The are you freaking kidding me?!? kind.

Doctor's appointment went both good and bad. While it feels overwhelmingly bad, the good news is that my incessant water-drinking did in fact help me to shed 4 of the 6 lbs I gained last week, bringing my net gain to 2lbs over the past two weeks...ding ding ding. Back on track. That's a relief. I'm now at 26lbs. Whatever, I'll take it.

On another positive note(?), my abdominal ultrasound did not show gallstones. The negative there is that I experienced another bout of pain on Saturday night (though not as bad) and now we have no idea why....super duper. Maybe it'll just naturally go away as my internal organs return to their previous locations? Let's hope.

Also, I reclaimed my centimeter! I am dilated to 1cm, and still 80% effaced. Obnoxious. Better than nothing, but when I said, "So we can still have this baby in two weeks, right?!" I was met with a big, FAT maybe. Make up your damn mind, doc. Which is it? Do you just need me to come completely unglued in front of you all over again? Because considering I start most every appointment lately with an I will not cry at this appointment mantra, I'm pretty certain it can be arranged. Either way, D will be going to my visit next week with me for support.

What really gets me is that he seems totally willing to schedule a c-section, but is weary of the induction. Um, isn't that kind of backwards? Isn't a doctor weary of inductions due to their ability to lead increasingly to c-sections? And if so, shouldn't we at least try the induction route first?!?! I mean, I'm not the doctor here, but it doesn't take advanced medical training to see how that's not logical. And as any sane first-time mother would feel, I don't WANT to have a c-section. It's actually a total nightmare, and much more difficult recovery. But I feel like my options are these:

A.) Schedule an elective c-section so baby arrives on 12/28 and I won't spend my one week of paid maternity leave sitting around trying to will her out, and then have to return to work when she is two weeks old after having taken the two weeks off I can afford to unpaid, OR
B.) Spend my one week of paid leave (I can't change the dates because the D's are going on a trip and that coincides with my paid time off - already tried that) still pregnant, praying baby at least comes by her due date, and returning to work when baby is two weeks old, with D going back to work on her due date (his leave coincides with University leave due to Christmas break) aka while I'm in labor/delivery/recovering at first, and being out several thousand dollars in 2010 insurance expenses.

Can you see why I'm at my wits end?

Why can't this be an option:

C.) Attempt an induction on 12/28, wait it out and if absolutely necessary, then opt for a c-section, giving me an additional week of recovery time and bonding time with Baby B before I return to work, and giving D an entire week to adjust to our new family of three before he returns to work.

Isn't that clearly the best option?!?! Especially given that my doctor mentioned that women that have had cervical surgery frequently can't dilate on their own....which, to me, means I'll need to be induced anyhow?!?! WTF. I'm super pissed.

Not to mention, the first three exams I had weren't bad by any means, but today's hurt like hell, and at the risk of TMI, I'm bleeding pretty significantly from it.

I HATE BEING PREGNANT.

5 comments:

  1. I feel so bad for you!! Why is it that these kids and doctors can't stick to the original plan!? I suggest sitting yourself down and having a discussion with Baby B! Let her know who's boss. LOL Anyway, I hope everything works out, and just stay calm, hopefully it will all go as originally planned...

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  2. Hun, having gone the induction route and having had it go bad (due to pre-e)...let me tell you this:

    Skipping the induction and doing a section if you must have her out on time is probably a better idea. It's faster, it's less wear and tear on your body and you know the constraints of it.

    My induction took 3 DAYS before they finally decided they ought to get kid out of there and fast when it went bad...the failed induction put me at risk, Marianne at risk, and utimately bought me nothing but more recovery time cause then I had to recover from labor AND the section.

    The midwife here later told me that inductions that fail like that mean the baby wasn't meant to come out the normal way for whatever reason...in my case she told me that even with Marianne being average size (7 lbs) she was still TOO BIG for me to deliver, due to my tiny, Asian-inspired bone structure.

    Whichever way you go, I hope it goes well, and maybe you'll get lucky with all that irritation the exam caused, and Baby B will decide to blow the Mommy-pop-stand versus deal with cranky cervix.

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  3. The thing is, there is no reason for him to believe the induction would go badly. He said he wanted me to be 2-3cm, but he also said I probably am unable to dilate naturally due to my surgeries. My mom had the same thing happen and had three very successful births with a little help from the pitocin drip, which is likely what would happen with me, especially with the current position of baby and my progressive effacement. I'm not going to schedule a 'convenience' c-section for my doc's sake. That's bullshit.

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  4. I understand about you not wanting to schedule a c-section for your doctor's sake.

    I'm just saying don't make assumptions about how the induction will go...they had no reason to believe mine wouldn't be fine either, and it definitely wasn't.

    You'll probably be better than I was, you've had far less problems in general then I did, despite the surgeries, et al.

    The important thing is no matter how she gets here, she gets here safe and sound. ;)

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  5. Ah....I feel so bad for you. I hope they listen to you...how frustrating to have them change the plan. Beg...and cry if you have to...a pregnant woman crying can be pretty convincing. ;)

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